Break up that I can't let go of.
TW: assault
Hi, I'm going on 7 months post breakup, and the pain is still immense. For the last year of the relationship I was filled with so much guilt shame and pain. I felt like I couldn't speak up, like I wasn't able to have my own emotions. I felt like I wasn't good enough and I tried so hard to do everything I could.
In the beginning he originally crossed a boundary but he was also going through a rough time with the death of his dog so I let it be.
Then he started putting me in uncomfortable situations when he was drinking. I started to become very emotionally unstable (for many reasons outside of the relationship) and he rekindled a relationship with his ex, that went on for months. When I tried to talk about it, he would belittle me and ignore me. I doubled down on my efforts to please him, and then he flashed me to a taxi driver, and dumped me a week later. Convinced me that it was all me, called me a narcassist and a gaslighter when I tried to get closure.
I'm a mess. I realize I'm also traumatized and was diagnosed with PTSD a month post break-up (not entirely due to the relationship there's just a lot of other things) I feel crazy, hurt and betrayed, and I just want all the hurt to stop.
Ty for reading
@StupidGirl25
It is extremely hard to get over a bad breakup but in your post you showed may things that led to the downfall ........you let him break boundaries and we all do ( insert many reasons) but once a boundary has been broken it is not as strong and breaking it over and over becomes easier.
He of course turned it on you because that is what a real narcissist does. In order to hide his guilt the fact he did the damage to the relationship he turns it on you. A common thing in my opinion it is easier to feel better to make it about the other person.
we go over it a bunch of times but in the end even small changes in what we did or how we handled things does not guarantee a better outcome when the person we were going through things or did not fight to keep something going. it is NEVER one person but errors on both sides.
