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StupidGirl25
515 M Embraced 4
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 29, 2020
Recent forum posts
Break up that I can't let go of.
Trauma Support / by StupidGirl25
Last post
 December 27th, 2023
...See more TW: assault Hi, I'm going on 7 months post breakup, and the pain is still immense. For the last year of the relationship I was filled with so much guilt shame and pain. I felt like I couldn't speak up, like I wasn't able to have my own emotions. I felt like I wasn't good enough and I tried so hard to do everything I could. In the beginning he originally crossed a boundary but he was also going through a rough time with the death of his dog so I let it be. Then he started putting me in uncomfortable situations when he was drinking. I started to become very emotionally unstable (for many reasons outside of the relationship) and he rekindled a relationship with his ex, that went on for months. When I tried to talk about it, he would belittle me and ignore me. I doubled down on my efforts to please him, and then he flashed me to a taxi driver, and dumped me a week later. Convinced me that it was all me, called me a narcassist and a gaslighter when I tried to get closure. I'm a mess. I realize I'm also traumatized and was diagnosed with PTSD a month post break-up (not entirely due to the relationship there's just a lot of other things) I feel crazy, hurt and betrayed, and I just want all the hurt to stop. Ty for reading
Discarded after giving all I could
Relationship Stress / by StupidGirl25
Last post
 August 14th, 2023
...See more I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I don't even recognize anymore. It started out so supportive and caring. But slowly turned. At first he would not talk to me for a couple days if we had a minor fight. That turned into him not talking to me for a couple days if I was under stress / having panic attacks. He was talking to his ex gf, and I didn't find out about it for months, she tattood him and he took her to dinner (at my favorite restaurant) After that, he finally let it slip that she was his ex girlfriend. Due to me being stressed with school and it being near the holidays, I felt like I couldn't tell him how much it upset me. Fast forward to February, he takes her out again right after Valentines day, he casually mentioned it to me via text while he was paying for their meal. And then he didn't talk to me that weekend and I ended up feeling like there was something I was doing that was wrong. And after the break up he admitted to seeing her again after one of our fights. Where he cried on her shoulder. I've been seeing a councilor since November but he would constantly tell me to go to therapy, while also telling me I have abandonment issues, I can't be alone, I'm losing my independence, and I'm so insecure. I live on my own, I have a 4.0 gpa and I used to be super confident. He left me a week after he flashed me to an uber driver. That was 3 months ago and I'm still a mess, deeply depressed, I'm not myself anymore, he has since apologized and told me that I deserved better, but all the other things said during that 5 hour conversation just feels like manipulation now. How do I start focusing on myself when I have always been someone who feels at my best when I'm helping others? How do I come to terms and fully understand why I let someone treat me so poorly? I feel like I'm going crazy
Break up, and PTSD
Trauma Support / by StupidGirl25
Last post
 August 13th, 2023
...See more I (F28) recently have gone through a breakup, I was shocked by it and I'm still very distressed. After reflection I realized I was in a very unhealthy relationship and I was treated very poorly. He knew I was planning to go to therapy this summer and also get a proper diagnoses. He left at a very fragile time for me. I'm struggling hard because this summer there was a lot of things I wanted to work through befor school starts up again, but the breakup has completely taken over. I also got diagnosed with PTSD due to trauma that has happened throughout my life. Everything just feels like such a mess
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