I opened up for the first time and it feels right yet so wrong

I really hope someone bothers to read this, I deeply need to hear some reassurance or similar experience. 

Yesterday, my best friend and I were hanging out and talking. She mentioned that she loves to analyze people's personalities, so she began to analyze my personality. She pointed out traits and behaviours she’s noticed in me but then she seemed hesitant to say something, so i urged her to say it. She said that sometimes it seems like I'm living as if I’m following commands, almost like a robot in a loop following whatever rules I have in my head. And that I'm trying to understand a thing i can't put my hand on. She couldn't be more right, I don't know if my *** was too obvious but no one saw it other than her. 

 I started talking about my own perspective, I've never opened up about this specific topic before and I felt everything in me fighting against the idea of telling anyone of this. I had to resist the physical urge to stand up and leave the room, then go to the most isolated place ever. 

the moment I began talking, my heart started pounding and my vvoice was shaking. I felt so anxious and at all immediately triggered my derealization.

I felt like I've broken a wall or crossed a boundary and there was no going back. I was speaking automatically. I shared things I’ve always kept hidden. I told her about how I’ve created a “fake” personality to deal with people because it makes life easier. how I feel like there are different voices or parts of myself inside my head, each one handling specific tasks or emotions. I said I don’t know who “I” am among all these parts.

She listened. She really tried to understand and I felt guilty like I was overwhelming her with something too complicated. But she kept asking questions and encouraging me to share. She even told me she would research more about what I’m going through so she could understand everything . 

I know what I am isn't considered normal. I said that I always look around at people and see how they interact with each other, How they show emotions and reactions So naturally and always question myself, why do I have to fake it so I can appear normal like them, and that left her speechless, which I understand. 

She said that I should face those boundaries or whatever *** in my head, since they keep me chained. I have to fight back because I'm avoiding doing so. And I'm not sure. It doesn't feel like the right thing to do.  

I was in a bad mental state, and I had to fight to stay aware and conscious. I eventually laid my head on her lap. She stroked my hair, caressed my back and arm until i fell asleep.

Thinking of it now makes me want to cry because I've never felt so loved and cared for. Yet something keeps bugging me, telling me I've done the wrong thing.