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Dissociation?

DakotaRaven January 20th, 2023

Its very hard to think and communicate what I want to say. My mind is racing, but its a struggle to get the words out. Its like my mind can't do two things at once, honestly.when I do talk, I'm disconnected from it being me, and have a hard time remembering or thinking spatially or abstractly. My anxiety... my whole body is tense, and I'm shaking, sometimes crying, but in my chest, I have a feeling of panic. I have a history of trauma and ptsd, and I've had the disconnect feeling, out of body, it seems, but never like this. I was just in the er for a ct scan, and I think it was a combination of things that made me react like this. I'm wondering if it will pass, or I broke my brain somehow. I'm not sure what the trigger was. Mindful exercises have helped a bit but its too hard to focus and that fact makes me anxious. Its hard to read and comprehend. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this?

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InvaderStitch January 21st, 2023

@DakotaRaven

That sounds like it must have been a scary experience. It sounds like some level of dissociation may have been happening. Sometimes when I experience too much stress at once I have a similar experience and have definitely felt this fear of "what if my brain is broke and it never gets better" luckily every episode I have had has been temporary and improved with some mindfulness and distance from stressors that caused it. I hope you're feeling better!

1 reply
DakotaRaven OP March 12th, 2023

Thank you for your response, Stitch. I'm sorry for my late response, I forgot I even posted this. I have been experiencing this more but I think you're right. That stress and feeling overwhelmed play a role. I'm going to start more intensive trauma therapy because its becoming quite bothersome. I don't know what the triggers are, or what to do when it happens. Last night I had to go to the er for what was apparently a panic attack. It scared me so. I wasn't able to work through it but mindfulness definitely helps!

1 reply
InvaderStitch March 18th, 2023

@DakotaRaven

That sounds really rough and pretty scary, but I'm glad you have a therapist you can work through it with. If things get harder when you dive deeper into the trauma don't be surprised. When I first started doing really heavy trauma work, my symptoms got a little more exaggerated for about two weeks, but then it evened back out and over time things have improved a lot. I don't say this to scare/worry you, but to just let you know if things get harder that is a normal part of healing and working through things.

You've got this!

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AdventurousAddi4597 February 17th, 2023

Hi, I actually relate pretty well. I have the same thing, was told it was from past trauma, but I've always felt like this. I understand what your going through cause I've gone through the same thing. It's tough to have, but what I learned is that you can use it to your advantage. Having dissociation can be exhausting, but you can also use it to see other people's perspectives. I'm not sure if it's the same for you, but having it felt I could actually understand and relate in different ways with people. They help you set aside your feelings in order to look at someone else's. Of course there have been times where it was basically an overload and that caused a breakdown with everything that had been happening to me, and then having to focus on other people's emotions too. . . It can be a lot. So I understand, and I'm sorry you have felt this way. It's just our bodies way of coping sometimes, and it hurts sometimes, but you can get through it. I use the thing to my advantage and then when it all becomes to much I'll get help.

Hopefully that piece of advice helps a bit.

Hope you have a great night! 😁

1 reply
DakotaRaven OP March 12th, 2023

Thank you for your response. It did help. Thank you. I've been experiencing it more but I had a death in the family that triggered everything that I've been repressing and I think thats why I'm having a problem all the sudden, now. So now it feels like I'm trying to figure out triggers, the past, and this. So thank you for your response. I forgot I even posted this until I went to join this community and saw it. I hope you have a good night as well. <3

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BunnieX February 17th, 2023

Hi, sorry I'm a bit late to this. I do this quite often when I'm stressed and triggered. I'm pretty good at figuring out, moments after I come out of it, what triggered it. I've realised that it really helps knowing what to avoid to not have those feelings and reactions. For me, it's mostly about the way people talk to me. If it's overtly sexual, I shut down and instantly go into a fugue state. Shaking, trembling, barely breathing, incoherent, heart pounding. I've been told you can't reach me in that state.


It's not normal, I'm not sure how common it is, but you're not alone 🫶🏻

1 reply
DakotaRaven OP March 12th, 2023

I actually didn't remember even posting this, but I'm sorry this happens to you. I have been struggling with it more and more lately. I can understand what you mean, about a fugue state and this scares me. There have been times when speaking was too much. And I think I'm starting to figure out more of my triggers. I've spent so long repressing everything that now that this is happening, its like I have to face it.but I don't want to upset you. Thank you for your kind words. It was a comfort and relief to know someone else experienced this sort of thing.

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