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BunnieX
586 M Embraced 4
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts44 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 16, 2023
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It's not at all good, but it ain't that bad.

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IDK What I Should Do
Trauma Support / by BunnieX
Last post
December 24th, 2023
...See more I'm sort of new to this app, haven't really posted here. I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong. I liked the idea of anonymity.  I don't know how to start this so I'll start by asking for advice, what would you do if you were in my position? The SA started when I was young, at my parents house by a friend of the family and continued on in the church we attended, he was also a member. It went on for 13 years. A lot of manipulation, gaslighting--like the movie, like he meant to drive me insane. Grooming, secret relationship, physical abuse. I haven't had therapy for it, I guess I'm too afraid, even as am adult, that I'll be in trouble for it in some way. Which is insane. I'm so over my family not treating it with the weight and seriousness that it deserves. They still talk about him all the time in front of me, to me, and act completely normal about it. I haven't told them how bad or long it really was, I haven't told anyone. I've tried in the past, like when he wrapped something around my neck and tightened it, in the backroom of the church during a church event. I tried telling my family but they laughed off the red marks on my neck and said it was a "rash" and that I looked "flushed." How can I let them know, now as an adult (sorry this stuff, I can't talk about it easily. A lot of shame and guilt.),without letting them know everything? How can I push back respectfully without exploding? It happened the first time in Dec and I'm just, I'm losing my mind. People are so seemingly flippant about it, don't know what to do. Sorry if I did this wrong, sorry if this was too boring or long. Hope you're having a really good day â¡
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Am I wrong for not talking about it?
Trauma Support / by BunnieX
Last post
July 8th, 2023
...See more Hi, I'm new here.  I was sexually abused and raped from age ffive to fifteen, both in my own house and at my parents church. It was a parishioner and a close friend of my parents.  I tried my best to suppress it and repress it for ten years, it almost worked. I was able to forget when and where, but not who or that it happened. About six years ago, something my at-the-time boyfriend/friend said something that triggered a memory about all of it. I tried not to think about it, especially after he broke up with me a week later. We've remained friends all these years, his idea, and recently a lot of drama happened between him and me. He again said something that triggered the memories and I've remembered something "new" everyday since, we aren't talking anymore and I won't talk about it to anyone else, but my family think I should. I can't bring myself to tell anyone else about it. It's not necessarily the judgement that I'm afraid of, it's the constant need to come up with times and dates to verify my side. In my experience, family, they don't know how to sit and listen.   Any advice? 
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