that one daycare

tw for child abuse and mention of sexual assault, as you'd expect. when i was 3-4 years old, my parents sent me to an in-home daycare. i told them again and again that "the lady was mean to me", but they just thought i was exaggerating. there are some things i remember and some things my parents had to tell me, but heres the stuff she did. shed knock me on the top of my head, hard, with her knuckles. i dont remember that one- my mom had to tell me. i do remember, however, that whenever i cried, she'd hold me upside down by my ankles as i screamed and cried, while she yelled at me over and over that she wouldnt put me down til i stopped crying. this one isnt as bad, but i remember she took all of our pacifiers and hid them in a kitchen drawer. i recall often sneaking into the kitchen and stealing mine back, ha. i also remember (this one isnt too bad either) i had been holding my spoon wrong while eating cereal, and she had been feeding the youngest member of the daycare when she noticed my lack of proper silverware grip. she stomped over to me, swiped the spoon out of my hands, and knocked me on the head as mentioned earlier. she aggresively fixed my grip on the spoon, all the while yelling at me and then blaming me for the youngest's sudden tears. ...anyways. the worst thing that she would have done, though, i dont remember. and i have no actual proof that it happened, and never will. but one day, i came home with a black-and-blue groin. my dad, while telling me this a few months ago, put heavy exaggeration on "black-and-blue". that means there was extreme, severe bruising all around the space between my legs. and i have no memory of what would have caused it- but i have a pretty good guess. my dad tells me that she blamed it on something to do with a biking seat, or something about riding a bike and sitting the wrong way. which... no. biking, no matter how improper youve positioned yourself, cannot bruise a 40-pound child that severely.

worst part is, my parents probably would have only trusted her if she (claimed to be) christian, which would have meant she would have probably been married (she was middle aged). my parents wouldnt believe a woman claiming to be christian if she wa unmarried or divorced. which would mean she had a husband. which would mean there would have been a man in the house... that i have no memory of.

so, i wonder how i got those bruises.