What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse is something that anyone can encounter, and yet so many of us struggle to recognize the signs of it. That being said, one of the first steps to ending the abuse is to know and acknowledge the signs. So, what is domestic abuse?

What is Domestic Abuse?

Simply put, domestic abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to control their partner. Oftentimes, when we picture domestic abuse, our minds might immediately travel to thoughts of domestic violence; however, domestic abuse can be much more than physical violence. Some of the other forms of abuse (there are many) that can be used to dominate or control a partner are emotional, verbal, financial, or sexual abuse.

Who can be a Victim of Domestic Abuse?

Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse. It can appear in any kind of relationship (heterosexual, homosexual, etc.), within all age ranges, within any ethnicity, and within any economic class. Men, women, and non-binary people can all be abused by their partners. All of this is just to say that domestic abuse is never okay, regardless of who it's coming from. You deserve to feel safe in your relationship, no matter who you are.

What are the Signs of an Abusive Relationship?

There are a lot of signs of an abusive relationship. You don't need to have all the signs in your relationship for it to be abusive, but the more that apply, the more likely it is that your relationship might be unhealthy.

You might be in an abusive relationship if:

- You are afraid of your partner
- You avoid mentioning certain topics to prevent angering your partner
- You feel like you are never enough for your partner. or can't do anything right
- You believe you deserve to be punished and mistreated
- Your partner tries to humiliate you
- Your partner criticizes you
- Your partner doesn't let you have an opinion
- Your partner blames you for their abusive behaviour
- Your partner has an unpredictable temper
- Your partner hurts you, or threatens to hurt you
- Your partner threatens to commit suicide if you leave them
- Your partner forces you to have sex
- Your partner controls what you do, where you go, and who you spend time with
- Your partner limits your access to things like money, the phone, internet or vehicles
- Your partner stops you from working or keeping a job
- Your partner threatens to kill you

What Help is there for Domestic Abuse Victims?

If, after reading this, you think you might be in abusive relationship, there are resources out there to help you, and different choices you can make.

If you fear for your physical safety (or that of any children you may have), one option is to report your abuse to the police. That being said, it is understandable if you don't feel this is the safest or most appropriate option for you.

If you want to learn about other resources that might be available for you in your community, you can look for shelters that house victims of domestic abuse. Many of these shelters are targeted towards women and their children, but there are some out there that support men who've been hurt in an abusive relationship. There are also shelters that are specifically LGBTQ+ friendly. These shelters have a variety of services, but many provide you with shelter and food as you try to get back on your feet after leaving an abusive relationship. There is an international directory of domestic abuse agencies here, if you would like to look into your local services.

If you aren't able to leave your abuser but need to vent, you can also call a hotline. They can listen, and have training on the specifics of domestic abuse. Not only can the understand your experiences to a higher degree than the average person, but they can also help you come up with a list of resources and a safety plan if you have to leave. There is a growing list of international hotlines here, or you can search on google for a hotline specific to your country or region.

Lastly, you can always chat with a listener here at 7 Cups. If you don't need specific resources or guidance, this can be a great help. Just knowing that someone else knows about your experiences and cares about you can be a huge boost.

Conclusion

I hope that after reading this, you feel you have learned something new about domestic abuse. If you think you might be or are in an abusive relationship, I am hopeful that you now have some knowledge that keeps you a bit safer. Thanks for reading, and I wish you all the best.