Teens: the After-Effects of Domestic Violence in Families

@morgan1910 yep I still have to live with my dad abusing my mom and I when l was younger forever and i still have nightmares about it

@morgan1910

This is a huge topic! What would you like to discuss about it? I'm in.

@cristiana33 I'm not sure yet, really. I just think it should be here in case I need it or in case anyone else does.

This is so true also would lvoe to have a discussion about this, as most people including me was unaware of this!

@purpleunicorn21 awesome! People wanting to talk about this makes the future look brighter. (:

@morgan1910

Hey there! I'd love to see this happen, and would be glad to put it together! The only issue is, I don't know what should be put in this thread. If there is anything that you think belongs in the thread, feel free to let me know here or by PMing me. I'd love to talk and make your idea a reality!

Hi, I'm um Anjali. How do I um get the courage to tell someone about my father hurting me?... I'm just fed up with this...

I'll just answer myself. Don't do anything. Let it keep happening. You have nothing to live for anyways.

@Anjali24268 Don't say that! You have plenty to live for. I've been in your situation as well...I grew up in a violent household with 2 abusive parents. I'll have to admit it was pretty rough a lot of the time, but you need to realize that there's more to life than some faulty family situation that you are in no way responsible for. I really encourage you to try to look at it from a different point of view. I found it helpful to realize that I've have more experiences than the average person, and it makes me so much stronger mentally. First, I think you need to discuss this with a social worker at school. Back when I was in middle school, I realized enough was enough and the anger I had built up reached a level that I couldn't contain any longer and I reached out to the school social worker. She was extremely helpful to me since I didn't have anyone else to talk to at the time. If this isn't an option for you, you can always feel free to let a teacher or a friend or a friend's parent know about your situation. You cannot allow it to continue. I believe in you. I know you can handle this. Believe me, it does get better.

@Anjali24268 Oh. my god. Anjali, I miss you so much right now. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, but I love you. Even though you'll never see this, I need to tell you or anyone for that matter what has happend to me. You always told me everything in school, or whenever he let you come to me, so I think it's time I told you too.. You knew that I was also hurt. We had the similar scars, bruises, everything. But it goes much deeper. I live with this terrible guilt that I couldn't help you, and now, I can't even help myself. Im going to shit up right now though, because I don't think I'm ready for a lot of people to know what's happend. I love you, and I will live on, only for you. I miss you so much, and I'm sorry.

@Anjali24268 and @Musiclover242 :

While I was hardly ever physically abused myself, I understand what you are going through. It's like you've lost control of the situation, and you feel if you move one brick, the whole hideous kingdom will come tumbling down on top of you.

I am here for you both always, and I hope that God (or whoever you do or do not believe in) grants each of us going through these ordeals a little bit of daylight. ❤️

@morgan1910

Thank you... I wish Anjali was here to see your kind message...

I basically lost my mom to domestic violence so I think this would be very helpful. Can't seem to find anyone on here that's been effected by domestic violence.

@roleypoley I have, you are not alone ❤️

@roleypoley

i have and am still dealing with it you are not alone

@roleypoley my mom is completely different than before, and in that way, I have lost a little peice of her.

The effects of it would be horrific for the teenagers or even children, they have grown up watching their parents be role models, love each other then you get older and the love you saw wasn't actually love, it was torture. No one wants to see their rolemodels or even their world tore each other apart, so it would hurt them emotionally.

@Ladywithabug that is exactly what has happened to me.

This is a great idea! Too many kids grow up watching moms/dads being hurt. It matures a child and makes them stand up for what is right, but there are other things that happen. Im glad this is a thing!

@royalJoy67 me, too!

I had been a victim myself

Its not easy and i would like to share my story to get it out of my system

I even seen the most violent acts my parents commited and i cried just by watching

For 12 Years, my brother abused me physically and emotionally. He thought it was funny to have me clean the house while his friends laughed at me and made sexual remarks. He liked to throw me against walls, strangle me, punch me, call me horrible things and I believed them. Still kinda do. But he'd always make sure there were no marks. maybe it doesn't sound as bad as it is but I have ptsd, anxiety, depression and I used to self harm, 90% of that is because of him. I'm 17 now, as of last month and even though he's not living in the same house as me anymore, he's still in my life and I need to get rid of this toxic monster. once I'm 18, I'm getting a restraining order but I still have a year left and it's getting bad again. Does anyone know what I can do, either to help myself heal or ways to keep him away from me. One of the worst parts is no one would believe me because everyone thinks he's a helpful, generous saint. Please help me. I don't know how much more I can take. Thank you

@mermaidgirl17 the one good thing about still being a minor? The law is on your side (mostly). You need to reach out to someone about your abuse, whether a school counselor or simply a friend's mom. If you are willing to go that far, your brother would be tried as an adult (as he is) for ongoing sexual and verbal abuse. You may not have physical evidence, but if he abuses you, don't shower or anything; his DNA is on you, and that along with accounts from friends who are witnesses to your emotional abuse would be enough. If you can't do this, stay strong, and get that restraining order when you turn 18. I'm here if you want to talk, 24/7 (minus school hours; and I don't sleep much).

My mom got one against my dad, but he got it removed (yours would not be, but we had interesting circumstances). Literally, I am still fighting to keep going, but luckily, I've got my faith and my friends, and that keeps me pushing through. Stay strong, and again, I'm here for you. ❤️

Umm, how do you deal with the nightmares/memories of your parents hurting you? I just, I can't even really even interact with my family anymore cause I'm so scared it can happen again. I can't sleep, and am always watching to make sure I don't make them angry. I don't know, I just want it all to stop.

@greypanda3585 its not easy, and i know its hard keeping the nightmares in check. Just start by meditating before sleep, do something distracting and do something you like.

When they start hurting you, just walk out and take your time to relax and control what you can.

@greypanda3585 Don't let the nightmares get to you. If you wake up crying, first tell yourself you're alive, and secondly, you're going to be alright. Then, think about everything good in your life. If you are still thinking upon these dreams, get on 7 cups of tea and just chat: with ANYONE. Because everyone here wants everyone to be happy and to feel better. I'm here almost 24/7... I have insomnia (no sleep for me...), and the only time I'm not available is school. Also, I can recommend you my first listener; she was amazing, and really helped to calm me down and sort through what I was thinking. I'm here for you. 💕

My brother was the one who abused me when I wa little ages 3-6, how do you deal with memories/dreams/thoughts of it happening again, I'm 13 naw and the memories are still there, if someone grabs my wrist I panic, how do you deal with this? I'm scard, the memories keep coming back, dreams, night terrors, how do you deal with it?