My brother was my biggest fear
When my brother was a teenager I was pretty young. There is a 7 year age gap between us. For some reason he hated me in particular the most. A lot of my family members had physically or mentally abusive tendencies but none were worse than my brother. He used to pick me up by my neck and watch to blood run in to my face while I was struggling to get out of his grip. One time he put a robe tie around my neck and pinned it to the back of my chair until I started blacking out. I collapsed on the floor and I remember him and other family members laughing at me and telling me to stop being so dramatic. We are both much older now and he try’s to be friendly but there is no way I can forget what he did.
Dapper, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that abuse. I don't blame you for avoiding him. I get it, growing up my dad was my abuser. Very bad for me and my sibs. We all have damage from it. I understand your pain very much. I started therapy 3 years ago to help me deal because my pain was affecting every aspect of my life. It helps for sure but I'm in the midst of coming to terms with all of it. Ugh it's awful. I just wanted you to know your not alone and ppl care, I care and understand. Remember your an awesome survivor!!