As an adult, I still feel like a child around my parents
I still get scared by my parents, even though I’m an adult. The other day my mom called me in a stern voice and my body instantly went into fight or flight mode. Is she gonna yell at me? Would she hit me? Does she hate me? Only for her to complain about my house being messy. This feels wrong, to be genuinely scared of your parents to the point where you think your life is in danger. Right? Or am I being dramatic?
I'm sorry this happened, it sounds like a stressful phone call and I hope that you have had a break from being in contact with your mom these past few days. You're not alone!
When you've been raised in an abusive environment by abusive people, that experience has stuck its claws deep into you and it likes to hang on to you. It's where you spent your formative years, your childhood. It's something you've been dealing with for a very long time, and what you're familiar with.
When you start stepping out, anything that reminds you of the past can put you back in the past, and that's OK. What you're feeling is normal, you're under a lot of emotional stress! It's natural for you to be scared because you know what's probably going to happen from those familiar experiences.
Although you're an adult, you don't feel like an adult. You're not treated like an adult for one reason or another. In many cases, the abusive people will never treat you like an adult. They don't want you to be your own person, they don't see you that way, they see you as an incapable, helpless, obedient little child/object that they can shape as they like.
Slowly and surely, you will reclaim that power back. It takes a lot of time, and navigating a lot of tricky paths. I hope that you can treat yourself gently while dealing with all of this.
@CowAtSeven I’ve been so lost these few months.. this post is something I really needed to see. It’s honestly the weirdest thing how ONE event can send you back to the mindset you had as a child. I wish that more parents educated themselves in how trauma can negatively effect their kids. This is why I want to seek therapy and better myself before becoming a parent.
I appreciate the advice you’ve given me, I feel like my feelings are being validated
