Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: November 20th, 2019

Hi guys its @MonBon here posting this weeks pre-planned discussion from @AriannaPink lets get started!

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Hello Trauma Sub-Community!!! It is I @AriannaPink (Arianna, Ari, or Aria) here with another check-in for you guys! Before we begin though I just wanted to ask how your guys week has been? I hope you all have had a wonderful week so far, and continue to have a great week! But if you havent, thats okay too as we all have bad days so thats normal, however I hope your week starts to improve for you soon! 🤗💗… Now if you missed last weeks check-in, and would like to tune in on what story was given, and what we last discussed please feel free to click here! Otherwise lets just jump right in to our main check-in question so we can get started with our story for the week!

Main Check-In Question: How are you doing today overall?

Okay now that thats out of the way, get cozy and comfy everyone because we will be starting the story time shortly!

Quick Little Disclaimer: For today only our story is not edited because neither myself or @MonBon thought it was necessary to do so because we noticed no graphic content. So if you feel like its not worth the risk please answer the Main Check-in Question listed above ⬆️, and then click off here for your own mental health. Otherwise feel free to carry on with todays check-in! 😁…

Also many thanks to both Christina for putting her story out there, and to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for posting stories like hers on their blog that is connected to their website to inspire people every single day! They are an incredible resource so if you guys ever want or need to know any information or advice regarding domestic abuse I recommend going to their website which I connected their link to their name right up there! ⬆️...

Now without further ado here is Christinas Story which is from a witnesss point of view living in a domestic abuse filled household at one point.

By the time I was six, I knew the drill all too well. There would be a little bit of yelling, things would be thrown about and Dad would strike Mom. She would cry and apologize and I would hide. That was my job, when things got ugly I was to be invisible and I had gotten incredibly good at it.

A few years later, it was important for me to be visible and to cry for help because the strongest woman I know was at her weakest moment in life. She was being choked and didnt have a voice. I was afraid for her life and got help the only way I knew how – by dialling 9-1-1. The police came. They handcuffed Dad and put him in the police car – this wasnt the first time they had been called to our house on account of domestic violence, but it was the first time that Moms friends decided that it was time to get involved.

They knew some of what went on at our house. They could hear it and they knew that the police had been to our house before. But they were never willing to talk to Mom about it. Maybe they didnt know what they would say to her or maybe they felt as if it wasnt their place to say anything. But one thing is certain: Mom couldnt escape the abuse alone. Dad owned her. Her self-esteem was at an all time low and she really believed she was good for nothing. She was afraid to leave – afraid that would put her (and me) in more danger than just enduring the pain. He paid for everything we had and was financially responsible for us. And, above all else, she truly loved him. It would have been difficult for her to make it on her own and she didnt know the first step in getting out safely.

She was never willing to press charges and, as a result, Dad never had to sit in jail for long. Moms closest friends were aware of this and went to work quickly. They reminded her of what she had and helped boost her confidence. They gave her the willpower she needed to change her thinking from ‘I cant to ‘I can. They told her that his behaviour was not okay and reminded her that she had a small child who was looking up to her as an example to life.

Mom cried. She didnt want to continue living this way, but she didnt know how to get out, shed been living this way for so long that it had become the norm for her. Moms good friend offered to let us live at her house, at least for a while, until we could figure something else out. Her friends encouraged her to move – to get out. They promised her theyd hide our location from him.

They promised we wouldnt be alone.

Her friends helped her pack up our whole lives into a few boxes and we escaped to another town. Mom was saving herself, she was saving me, and she was doing what she had to do. She is one of the strongest women I know.

I often think about how different life would have been for both of us had Moms friends not gotten involved. I suspect that Mom would have continued to repeat the Battered Wife Syndrome week after week, month after month and year after year. Mom couldnt do it alone. She didnt have the strength; she didnt have the finances and she didnt have the know-how. Domestic violence IS everybodys issue. Many women dont know the first step to take. They need a friend. A friend they can trust; a friend who is willing to help, willing to listen without blame.

Our new life would not have been possible without the help of Moms friends. Know your neighbors; know your friends. If someone is hurting your friend or family member, it IS your business. Get involved. Stop domestic violence NOW!

Now to finish up this check-in I have a couple of questions for you guys...

#1. What was your favorite part of this story?

And #2. How do you feel after reading this story?

Thank you so much everyone for reading this story, participating in this check-in, and taking a chance on me! I will hopefully see you guys soon!!!

- @AriannaPink

Heres our lovely GIF for this week to keep our little tradition alive! Congratulations guys we truly are halfway to the weekend!!! 😁🥳🎉...

https://media.giphy.com/media/jtoCa0ieSrvrCTUTLJ/giphy.gif

Plus a bonus one as a little treat from me to you guys in my absence that was discussed last week! ❤️…

https://media.giphy.com/media/JP69AyzOtSWLm/giphy.gif

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