Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Saturday June 30th 2018
I notice theres no check in posted for today, so its a quick one from me. And how better to do a quick check in than steal an idea from someone else! A friend of mine recently posted this, so I take no credit, but I do think its worth a ponder.
How To Create Real Change In Life: Address Root Cause vs. Effects
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I believe very strongly in addressing root causes to bring about the largest and most sustainable change in the long run.
Why Address Root Cause?
Say you have a lot of weed growing in your lawn.
If you remove the weed using a lawnmower, will that solve the problem?
Temporarily.
Visually, the garden looks good.
However, you probably know that this is only at the surface level.
After a short period of time, the weed will grow back.
So how do you fix this long term?
If you replied By removing the weed from the root, you are totally right!
Root of the weed
The same principle applies to our lives.
For everything we face today, there is a root cause behind it.
Understanding the root cause is central toward resolving our issues.
Once the root has been removed, the effects will be addressed accordingly.
Many people try to work on their problems by addressing the effects.
Its understandable why people are inclined to deal with effects.
Effects are whats most immediately observable, so its easy to act on them.
Upon doing so, you see an instantaneous change — an impression that you have progressed in your goals.
On the other hand, trying to uncover root causes can be tedious, complicated, and at times, scary — to the extent where people run away when they realise the problems that are underneath.
Some people may not even know how to go about uncovering their root causes.
There is always a reason why things happen — more so than you may realise.
Are you ready to get to the root of what's holding you back?
Welcome!
Feel free to say hey.
Share as much or as little as you'd like.
We're here for you 😊💜
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@DeborahUK
Hi
@sensitiveShade5337
Hello Shade. Its been a while. How are you?
@DeborahUK
Im fine how are you?
@sensitiveShade5337
Been busy, hence my slow response! Sorry about that.
@DeborahUK
Thats fine
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi 😊
@singercrystalspirit
hi
@DeborahUK
I'm ok. I had counseling yesterday and at the end my counselor said he is going on vacation. I won't see him for 2 weeks. It just was hard when he said that. He said to email and he would be checking emails but its not the same. I'm stable enough to understand his family and him need vacations. He is nothing but a doctor. I get it. I do understand. It still is hard. I sorta still live week to week. I still count down days until I get to go and see him. Its okay to feel this way. He just has helped me a lot. And I guess this is a hard reminder of reality. He is just a nice doctor who has helped me a lot. Yes, he cares. But someday I won't get to see him anymore. It will happen. His vacation is just a hard reminder someday I just won't get to see him ever again. I know i know, I'll always have what he has taught me in me, etc. I guess it is what it is and that I'm so needy it's pathetic. And that I have no one in real life is also pathetic. Today is a bad day.
@KLM3278
Oh KLM, there is nothing pathetic about you! You are amazing! And it really is a blessing that you are learning to attach to someone. I know it is scary, but you are doing so well!
@nolongerafraid
Ohhhh. That is an amazing picture! Thank you!
@nolongerafraid
This cartoon is so sweet!
@DeborahUK
Its hard to uncover the root when you really thought you had already.
For years and years, I struggled with depression while antagonizing the bullies at my church when I was younger. I would go to therapy and talk and talk about how I went through emotional and physical bullying during the beginning of my childhood, and then I would walk out still feeling heavy. Ive done so many things to lessen the effects of my chronic depression, but never asked myself why it is so chronic. I never thought that I had the wrong root in mind.
However, Im finally realizing the root of my depression has lived in my house with me for my whole life. I didnt have a good role model of a good relationship with family because I didnt have one. I didnt realize that my parents refusal to help me with my depression or hard times was emotional abuse. I didnt realize that being hospitalized for being malnourished wasnt my fault because I want to eat, but my health problems plus the neglect from my parents have caused me to wilt away. I didnt realize the lack of love/care/compassion from my parents was emotional abuse. Ive lived like this for years trying to figure out why I felt so worthless and uncared for and blamed myself but Im realizing that that isnt my fault.
Its time to accept that my parents have traumatized me and abused me, so I can start repairing myself and my effects.
@Brianalight
Wow, that is an awesome revelation right there. It was not your fault!
We are all here to cheer you on to health!
@nolongerafraid
That means the world to me! Thank you for all your support. This is a great post and a great community
@Brianalight Thanks Briana,
It is a special community, I agree. I love how we are all so supportive of eachother. Welcome to the trauma family!
Hi Deb
I have spent years trying to get rid of the symptoms, and I have gone to doctors and therapists who try to get rid of the symptoms, but until recently no one has tried to help me understand the problems. I am trying to get to the roots, and I have an assessment in a month to help myself and a clinician understand what has happened throughout my life and then start a suitable therapy to work through my problems. I am feeling quite hopeful at the moment :)
Love and hugs
Just saying hi and leavings hugs for all who want one ❤️❤️❤️
This check-in reminds me a lot of my opinion when it comes to stuff.
Just me, but I do not like things like keeping journals and diaries, mindfulness, etc., because I'm more concerned about results. So I want to see results, not think about them because if I do something where I can actually see results, that's progress and what I want. If that makes sense. A do-er more than a thinker and I do not like my mental baggage.
I am impatient and lazy. Not surprising (and maybe irrelevant), but I also don't/can't use agendas or daily planners.
(I was just about to hit "Add Post" and thought of something genius. I hate my mental baggage so much that I want to leave it behind while on board SS Fabulous and I'm cheap so of course I wouldn't pay the extra baggage fee to bring it along anyway. Throw it in the water, woo!)
Anyway, I got annoyed again but I feel better now. Kicking back with some music and YouTube vids. Long weekend, woooo! Forgot where I going with this post...
Also got hit with the idea that nothing lasts forever a couple of different ways. Womp.
I agree with the topic of today's check-in. So many times you have to get to the root of the problem before you make a long lasting positive change. I deal with the fact that within me a lot of the times the root itself is not so easy to find. Sometimes I can't remember why I feel the way I do about certain things or why I react the way I do, I just do.
"There is always a reason why things happen — more so than you may realise."
I've been trying really hard not to focus on the why's, on the root causes of all of the stuff thats happened.
I find it hard to get my head around alot of the time.
There are some things I know the root causes off....I do not have a good education because as a young child I lost interest in life. I didn't form interests as such.....I just sat in front of the television and tried to bury my head in the sand.
I have issues with finishing things, with maintaining interest.
I have a huge self destruct streak that gets worse the more people who think positively of me.
I am a loner now as I have huge trust issues.
I have a mother who I have to try and keep my distance from even though she tries not to hurt me but can't seem to help it.
And all of this is the root cause of me fighting feelings of intense hatred of myself, haha lots of fun...
Root causes....hmmm....going to have to do alot of digging to try and get the roots up and kill them for good.
Sorry im just venting.
Hope you all had a good day ❤❤❤
I'm having a bad few weeks, everything is so so overwhelming and I just can barely hold on anymore 😢
