Traumatic Experiences Community Check-In Wednesday-Thursday 30 Sept-1 Oct. 2020

Good morning everyone! The topic for this check-in is coping strategies. Trauma often finds a way to sneak up on us when we least expect it to. We rarely see it coming and never know what the aftermath will be. There are a number of lifetime events which may cause post-traumatic stress disorder such as death, war, and abuse of any kind. Life inevitably will take unexpected twists and turns along the way, and it is nearly impossible to assume that we will be the same person we were before a traumatic event. Questions may go through our minds such as:

How do I feel safe after trauma?

Will I ever feel better?

Why did this happen?

Are there ways to effectively cope?

When something like this happens, it can very often be difficult to understand and process what has happened. Coping after a traumatic event can be difficult and confusing. In addition, finding healthy coping strategies can prove to be even more challenging.

It is impossible to come up with concrete steps that everyone who experiences trauma can adhere to, but there are some time-tested skills and thought-provoking statements we can consider, such as:

Accept that we are going to be different as a result of this traumatic event.

Identify things that are good about the change resulting from the trauma.

Identify the undesirable things regarding the change from the traumatic event. From this list, consider how we can work with these changes, work around them, or even reframe them as a growth opportunity.

Realize that any emotion we experience is normal. If things start to feel out of the norm, seek professional help.

Move forward realizing that it is normal to have waves of emotion continue to pound at and around us. These waves of emotion will generally lessen in intensity and frequency as time goes on. However, from time to time, some intense waves may come at us seemingly out of nowhere. This is normal.

While this isn’t an all-encompassing list, it is a great place to start when trying to understand how a traumatic event is affecting us. Once we have acknowledged these statements and began to think about them, it’s time to start working on healthy coping strategies.

Unfortunately, all too often when a stressful situation strikes, we turn to negative coping mechanisms rather than positive ones. While it would be great if we could all distract ourselves when a crisis hits, most people instinctively opt for a maladaptive coping mechanism, all of which can be harmful and many of which can have long term implications which can have a severe impact on our own life and the lives of those around you.

Of all the negative coping mechanisms out there, these eight are the most common and also, arguably, the worst.

1. Avoiding The Issue Altogether

Anxious avoidance is an extremely common strategy employed to cope with situations that make us feel afraid. It makes sense on the surface to try to stay away from anything that may make us anxious or worried. However, over time, that fear is strengthened and maintained if it isn’t confronted. While avoidance brings immediate relief, learning to confront our worries is the best way forward in the long run.

2. Smoking

Many people turn to smoking as a way of coping if they feel stressed as it brings a sense of immediate relief. It also gives us something to focus on and to keep our hands occupied. While smoking is a form of distraction, it is a negative one and has severe negative financial and health implications for the future.

3. Spending Compulsively

One common way of handling stress is to shop compulsively. While buying a new pair of shoes or a piece of jewelry may make us feel good in the short term, in the long term, it could cause a host of problems. Some people begin to hide purchases from their family, or take out loans or credit cards so they can carry on spending when their bank account runs dry. As a result, the whole family can face a financial burden.

4. Drinking Excessive Caffeine

Just like when we smoke, we get an instant sense of relief whenever you drink coffee. That helps in the short term to cope with the stress, however over the long term, it can cause problems. You can develop a caffeine dependence which, in turn, causes caffeine crashes as well as poor quality sleep.

5. Running Away

It isn’t too surprising that lots of people try to run away from situations that produce anxiety. Being able to escape the immediate circumstances which are triggering the fear brings an immediate feeling of relief. The next time a similar situation arises, we can remember that we felt relieved when we escaped the last time, and therefore we try to run away from it again. This is a terrible strategy and can lead to increasing isolation. It can also cause family members to become distressed as they’ll never know where we are going and when we are coming back. Also, if we continue avoiding panic-inducing situations, we will never be able to make the anxiety go away by itself.

6. Consuming Too Much Alcohol

Depending on alcohol to reduce stress is extremely common since drinking excessively helps to numb our emotions and feelings. Drinking excessively has many negative health implications, however, and if we continue to drink to excess we could end up with liver damage, cancer or other health issues.

7. Excessive Sleeping

Some people retreat to their beds when they’re going through a stressful time since sleeping represents an effective way of avoiding thinking about a situation. While it may seem that this isn’t too destructive a problem, the human body requires outside stimulation and exercise to stay healthy.

8. Eating Disorders

One very common negative coping strategy is to use food to forget about our problems. For some people, this takes the form of overeating whereas, for others, it takes the form of severely restricting their calorie intake. Either way, an eating disorder can have serious health ramifications and can be life-threatening.

There are many, many positive coping strategies we can utilize and it’s important to look into this in order to find which are best for us. This list is designed to be a starting point, not the only strategies to consider. Here are five examples of positive coping strategies.:

Develop a toolbox of deep breathing, relaxation skills, and meditation skills. One good example is circular breathing. This is where we take a slow breath in and as we are doing this count to five in our mind. At the top of our breath, hold it for 5 seconds as we count to five in our mind. Then slowly let our breath out, again counting to five as we do this. Lastly, at the bottom of our breath, before we breathe in again, hold it for the same 5 seconds. This is where we start all over again, trying this for a couple of cycles.

Re-engage in a hobby or activity we have not done in a while.

Find a new activity, sport, or hobby that we can participate in.

Make a list of people we trust that we can call when we are not doing well. Help them understand we just need them to be a listener or sounding board for us.

Search on the web for people who have experienced similar trauma and have seemingly come out on the other side. Listen to their stories, see what they did that helped, and if we could implement one of their skills to benefit ourselves.

Before I end this post I will ask the three optional questions.

1. How are you feeling today?

2. What positive coping strategies do you utilize?

3. What topic would you like me to cover in a future check-in?

As always I wish you all a greater today than yesterday, in hopes for a better and brighter tomorrow!!!!

@adaptableLake3534 @AstronomySkies @AveryLove @BeenAKiwi @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @BrokenDreamsPalace @CaptainTrev @CaringBrit @CoolBeans29 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @depressedsatellite1452 @emylly @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @gentleLand5245 @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @gregariousBeing5071 @hillsideblues @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @Hydrangea03 @InfinityandBeyond23 @Itisbailey @jr50 @Kickiree @Lilly28 @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Mellietronx @mkaitx @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @nonethewiser @NoneTheWiser @notmyselftoday @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @OffDutySeraph @ottersngiggles @PinkestOctopus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @redmark @Rosa9570 @SarahAlaina15 @sensitiveShade5337 @Silverviolets @SoulSupporter102 @spectacularSunrise7824 @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @ThreadbareThinker @TransparentPuzzle @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @Understandingempath @weepingwillow5489 @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld

To be added/removed from the taglist, please see THIS THREAD.

Guidelines for Trauma Support check-ins: https://www.7cups.com/home/trauma/#guidelines
List of team leaders if you need us: https://www.7cups.com/home/trauma/#leaders