Domestic Abuse Community Check-In: Week of October 1st
Hi everyone!
I've decided to post these check-in threads on Sunday instead of Monday, as with the weekend coming to an end, it makes more sense to me!
As per usual, feel free to respond to the usual prompts:
If you are currently in an abusive situation and are looking to get out, do you have any goals or steps outlined for the week to help you accomplish this?
If you have left your abusive situation, how does it still impact you after? What is the one thing you would say to someone still in an abusive relationship?
In addition to this, this week I'd like you to share what helped you to realise you are/were in an abusive relationship. Was it a particular action or behaviour? Was it someone else voicing their concerns?
I wish you all the best over the next week!
@Rebecca Hello! I was in an abusive relationship for almost 10 years but got out 2 years ago.
If you have left your abusive situation, how does it still impact you after? What is the one thing you would say to someone still in an abusive relationship? I still get flinchy and sometimes have a hard time with my self-esteem. I would say it is never too late or early to find help!
In addition to this, this week I'd like you to share what helped you to realise you are/were in an abusive relationship. Was it a particular action or behaviour? Was it someone else voicing their concerns? I used to ignore what people said about my ex, and I guess I just finally had enough and started getting emotionally detached.
@Mellietronx I was in a Domestic abuse relationship. I left him just seven weeks ago. I felt positive about leaving, but now, I am not so sure? The relationship was a long one, nearly 7 years. I am now in a situation were I am feeling really anxious. I have no money, and not sure where I am going? I had to leave behind a really cute house, my cars and dog. It breaks my heart. I always knew this situation was bad and he was an abuser. He has kept me under his tight control. I still love him and my heart aches. I am shocked by how much I still love him and question constantly now, have I made a mistake?
I knew he was an abuser. When I first met him, he was so kind, loving and just the most amazing person I had ever met. I fell in love deeply and madly. It only took a few months later, when he drank to see his dark side. I spent many a night in fear of the demon he would become after a drink. I have fled in the middle of the Night, and had to sit for hours in the cold outside, waiting for the morning to come and to get back into the house. It was always my fault never his, never his drinking. He was a man who would never apologise for his behaviour. I was the bad one.
We had lots and lots of lovely times. I always thought if I could stop him drinking it would be all ok. It never was. He would drink flip out and back to the same old, same old. What made me realise, I was in a Domestic violence situation? I always knew and I put up with it, until now
I have finally realised after 21 years , I
When we first met he was the sweetest thing. Begging to come around, begging for a date. Therr was no problem listening to me for hours and always wanting to be aeound me helping with anything I was doing, cause he said he loves being around me, that I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Slowly these little things started to get harder to keep for him. The charades and pretenses. He bacame a liar and wud get more angry than me when I found out his lies. I would try saying how I feeling and suddenly my feelings were invalid. He would say shut up or ohh ohh baby in a provoking way like I'm petty. While having an argument he would walk out on me, he stopped apologizing, suddenly he can't be wrong, I always am. Smoking weed - I should have no problem. Gambling our bills money - I should hace no problem. Drinking out our food money - I should have no problem. Being a game addict and not going to work - I should have no problem. Told him about the gaming cause I was sick and needed his help to make dinner. He came to help with phone in hand (not helping). I ask him to put it down. He started yelling at me saying I want to control him, how he can find better than me and if I don't like his game playing that's my problem. I felt insecure and confused I asked of he had someone cause why he treating me like this he said "I am not a whore like you." Suddenly I'm a whore, suddenly I'm not the girl of his dreams anymore.