Turning into Trees
“When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You appreciate it.
You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying “You’re too this, or I’m too this.” That judging mind comes in.
How could things in life be different when we would practise turning people into trees meaning appreciating them just the way they are? 
@amiablePeace77 i agree with the part that people should be appreciated for their uniqueness. however, they also need to be reprimanded if they do someone wrong or try to manipulate someone. for example : narcissist. how can we deal effectively with them ? they are definitely not trees but rather i would say they are pricks from the cactus. but i agree that majority of people are trees.
@bubblyMusic8287
Hi there and thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Dealing with a narcissist is challenging for sure and I don't believe neither it should just be accepted when they act out on others. However, often narcissists have a sad story behind them and many of them are products of their upbringing.
@amiablePeace77 if it´s okay to answer this, if it were up to you and you were living with a narcissist, how would you deal with the narcissist? i am just curious.
Pricks from a cactus 😆 well put
I love this post ami ❤ I start with an expression ("Dont judge book by its cover") We all have different stories, We've all weathered different storms in life and some of our stories and storms that we've over come made some of us stronger and some of us weaker. WHY? Because we are all different. In same way with trees, why do some break in storms and some dont? Yet like the trees just because some break doesn't make them any less beautiful then the others. They are all as magnificant as the other. So are we humans, we are all just as beautiful as the person sitting beside me on the bus or train. Like the trees some may need different ways of care, and different tools to use for that care. Humans are no different. We all experience similar storms and may have similar stories but we may need different types of care and tools in life for us to grow stronger from them.
@amiablePeace77 How could things in life be different when we would practise turning people into trees meaning appreciating them just the way they are?
Wow this is a great idea. Accepting people how they are is wonderful. It gives me hope but we have a ways to go yet to get there.
Yeah, but I’m not trying to have a human relationship with a tree. I do appreciate and observe people like this to a point, understanding why they are the way they are, but frankly, people are not trees. Human beings have will and agency, trees don’t have have that. And if I have a relationship with someone, I want them to interact with me in a way that’s human, not mute and motionless and emotionless like a tree. I want to see them improve their life. I can understand letting go and not controlling and being able to draw back if someone is stubborn and lifeless and changes slower than a tree 😅 but I just don’t agree that this analogy works quite right. Humans aren’t trees for a reason. A tree can’t uproot itself. A human can. A human can change and heal and grow in uniquely human ways, and can overcome things that trees cannot. It’s not wrong to want better for the people we love and to want better, more fulfilling, more connected, more reciprocal and equal, and respectful and loving relationships with the people we’re close to. Sometimes that’s not possible with certain kinds of people, but sometimes it is and I think we encourage people to give up too quickly these days.
Also, as a horticulturist, even when it comes to trees, if I saw a burnt or rotting tree in my yard or my local park, I wouldn’t merely sit back and appreciate it (I might at first for artistic or journalistic or scientific value), but eventually I’d want to rescue or uproot the tree and cultivate healthier plantlife in my garden or yard or local park. … Wouldn’t you? … When did we become so darn passive about the world around us? A rotting tree and a rotting person is our collective societal responsibility to make better. Yes, with human beings there is the added issue of adult self-responsibility and choice, and needing to know how to pick your battles and when to let go…. But so many people are afraid to fight for ANYTHING anymore these days, and it’s really sad. If you see a rotting tree in your park DO SOMETHING.
@Njorun1338
Thank you for sharing your point of views in such informative detail here.
I agree on the important of expressing what you want and what upsets you in any kind of relationship and also taking the initiative to do something about situations that are not good. Sadly some people are not in a position to do so for various reasons and might require support from the outside.
I’ve been there, but that’s kinda what I’m talking about. People in that position are one of the trees that need help, people that can should. At some point ya gotta uproot yourself though if people aren’t helping or if you need to help yourself— again, we’re not trees, we can uproot ourselves. When I was dealing with trauma and depression after the assault I experienced and reliving childhood trauma, I wasn’t able to do this right away after the assault I experienced, but I did eventually have to for myself because no one came to my rescue… unfortunately that’s true for most people. If you’re lucky enough to have people trying to help and are not cooperating with their help and making even little efforts for yourself it makes it harder for anyone to help.
@Njorun1338 I hear you. I read that statement about trees as we need to appreciate people like we appreciate nature.
I did not think it meant we should be stuck in one place, but we should cultivate a new appreciation for people as the wonder that they are.
Thank you, I appreciate that perspective too
Btw, I’m not talking about changing a person to fit your will (like commanding them about what career to have or how to dress or what to eat or what beliefs to have)— but I do mean encouraging and gently pushing them to improve. Like if they have an abusive boss, strongly encouraging them to apply to a similar job somewhere else, or on the flip side, if they are acting in self-sabotaging or disrespectful ways to you in a relationship, trying to open their eyes about that behavior and what’s causing it, and trying to get them to change their behavior in your mutual relationship to a way that’s more healthy for both of you. Some people won’t be worth this effort (like narcissists another commenter mentioned, foe example), but a whole lot of people are worth this effort even if it takes some time. Granted, not too much time, this physical life does have an expiration date and you can only spend so much time being anxious and upset over one person. But I do still think there’s a balance here, too many people are blasé and passive in relationships these days and don’t say what they want or what’s upsetting them, and they should.
❤️❤️