I don't know what to do ( TW )

This may just be me rambling but oh well here we go

I feel .. stuck, trapped, being forced to be things I don't feel like I can be.

My parents claim i'm smart, yet I can't understand naything teachers say ( nor do most help me, they don't even try to help, math teacher more than others )

My mother lies to me, even to make me feel a little better ( I'm not over my ex and she said he told her he was still into me, however he's already moved on, I don't want to ruin things so we stay friends, its okay for the moment )

I've not been able to talk to my therapist, nor does she help much ( Tells me things I already know, " use art as your coping mech, " she says, but I already do, she just acts like shes saying the same thing over and over and over again. )

I identify as Demigirl yet my parents tell me its because of my firends and shows I watch ( My oher two " healthy " coping mechs, I use tv to escape reality for a while. )

My mother just wants me to be with her and uses a mental hospital as a threat when I cut myself when I relapse due to intense stress and not having any other option.

I feel like I have to grow up in order to get away, but no ones ever taught me how to act like a reasonable adult

Can I have some coping mechs? Ideas I mean

Sorry for venting to you all, hope you have a great day tho! <3