New here needing vent and ask questions.
Hi I am Jay.
I am looking into therapy for depression, anxiety, self destructive tendies, alcohol abuse, past trauma, Trigger Warning-abuse both physically and sexually, manage my thoughts and feelings, better decision than my poor one that I tend to do, and relationship with my partner and family and friends.
Most of the time I can manage on my own when I am depressed. But when I had enough I tend to rely on alcohol (I am in the addiction forum for that). My recent episode was two days ago. I work a full time job and run a company as well. So many of my employees were calling out and we were spread thin so I had to work the site for a few hours until we hired someone to worknthe site. Since I was stressed and depressed (my partner was out of state for their work) I chose to drink my problems and thoughts away. This lead up to issues in my relationship I have a history of heavy drinking and blacking out saying hurtful things to ones I love because I am not happy with myself. When I am depressed I feel: self hating, not enough, always the bad guy, I don't do self harm but do wish I don't exist at times or something bad to happen to me so I won't be a problem to anyone ever again., I feel less motivated to do anything or have trouble focusing on things, and I self isolate from everyone and just be lost in my thoughts in a dark room.
@JayNative23
I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. When you feel depressed, you often have less motivation to do things and stop doing things you used to enjoy. Finding ways to manage or overcome depression is not easy but it is possible and considering therapy is a great way to help yourself. To learn more about 7cups therapy please click on this link: https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/ExcitingNewFeaturefor7CupsOnlineTherapyandCoaching_319430/?post=3431342
Good that you already joined the addiction support to learn more about alcoholism and addiction in general. Alcohol can feel like the best friend in situations when we feel lost, make us believe that all our problems will just miraculously go away. The truth, however, is that it destroys us, our relationships, our careers - practically all we have in life. Don't let this happen to you and make use of the support you can get. We are here to support you.
@JayNative23 aww sweetie I'm sorry 😥depression is so hard to live with 🙁 I'm glad your here seeking out therapy and help 🙂 that's a great sign, you should be very proud of yourself ❤alcohol is not a great coping mechanism, but it is a coping mechanism never the less we all have them. I'm just sorry yours has become such a big problem🙁 I'm sure you'll find all the support you deserve here ❤I'm Lola, welcome to cups ❤ you own your own buisness that's really great, well done ❤ but also very stressful🙁 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ good luck with everything ❤