Developing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
🌻What are Boundaries? 🌻
Setting healthy personal boundaries is all about identifying the line where you feel comfortable. It could be physical boundaries such as not accepting hugs from family members even, verbal communication and how people speak to you and also within our own personal space at home… have you ever felt uncomfortable because someone surprised you with an unannounced visit? These are all types of personal boundaries and we can feel uncomfortable if they are violated.
From the beginning, we’ve always been taught to be friendly and open to others and how this is a desirable way to behave and it is but it doesn’t mean that we have to forget all of our boundaries. Boundaries are very difficult to apply and often applying them leaves you with a sense of feeling unkind or uncomfortable as it takes time to apply them. Boundaries do not always have to be communicated as some things we know that we shouldn’t cross certain lines in life but often when we do not communicate them it is when problems arise.
🌻Why Are They Important?🌻
Setting boundaries are an important part of honouring you! They are your way of protecting yourself from things that feel uncomfortable to you. Not everyone will share your sense of boundaries as we are all unique but it is important that you do what works for you. They will help you to look after yourself and practice self-care which is important for you to feel healthier.
🌻Please join in: What are some boundaries that you have identified you have and maintained? What are some areas of placing boundaries that you find challenging to manage?
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
A well written post on an a relevant topic, as always, thankyouu, Lisa, for taking the time to initiate these useful discussions with the community! (Alsooo I love the sunflowers haha) ❤
I certainly have a lot of boundaries about the kind of people I want to be around, or the intensity of my energy and company someone can have an access to and the kind of situations I'm willing to put myself in (and I'm still in process of learning more and getting better at establishing them haha~ the hard part, I guess). Some of these are rather "unsaid" or unacknowledged boundaries, mostly learned behaviours and the thoughts that've shaped over time with experience!
A lot of times, I feel, less credit is given to personal/ boundaries with ourself as compared to boundaries for others. I truly believe it makes more of a difference to establish boundaries for self and work on them, rather than enforcing them on others~ sort of like giving others the power to make you feel like a boundary is set and working, rather than being in control of it yourself and ensuring it isn't crossed by yourself either. (or it could be a balance between the two lol).
Thankyou for holding space for some reflection! 🌻
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It's lovely to see you here making the community a more positive place and thank you for dropping by. I am glad you liked the post and the sunflowers too 🌻 They always brighten up any space!
I think that is what makes boundaries so difficult as they take continuous work which can be so so exhausting too! It is excellent that you have placed boundaries around the people you wish to have in your life as who you give out your energy and time to is very important for your well-being too.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Aw thankyou, for your kind words and validation! Sunflowers certainly do brighten up all spaces! 🌻
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Thank you for this helpful post Lisa! Very much appreciated!
What are some boundaries that you have identified you have and maintained? What are some areas of placing boundaries that you find challenging to manage?
I set boundaries irl on how people can talk to me when they start to become disrespectful for quite a while and it helped me to feel better. When I have negative thoughts about myself setting boundaries can be challenging because I feel guilty for not helping (irl).
@amiablePeace77
Very true Ami! It is so difficult to continue those boundaries when we are having a tough time. What do you think are some kinder messages you can tell yourself when you are struggling?
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I think telling myself "It's okay to say No when I need to say no" helps, I just need to do it more often (not here but irl)
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS Thanks for your detailed post Lisa!
I recently read a quote with a similar thought. Something along the lines of, “You set the cost of your own time. let people earn it.” I've struggled with saying no, so I found this and your message to be really helpful. Because I value my time, I have the right to create a framework to organize it.
@Snor1ax
You absolutely do :) You are allowed to place boundaries as it is likely no one will place them for you, it is a form of self-care because without them it can be difficult to take care of yourself as not everyone will value and respect your best interests so you have to do it for yourself too. It's difficult saying no and a very common reason why people struggle. I'll add it to a list of content and we can share some tips on how to make it a little easier. :)
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Thank you for creating a thread and talking about Developing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries. I'm posting in this thread because I'm very interested in the thread topic, and would like to learn from others in this regard.
I think one of the most salient boundaries I have that comes to my mind is personal space in the form of physical boundaries. For example, being in one's residence behind a locked door or being out in public at a store while encountering a crowded area and alerting store personnel to address the crowded area through peaceful means of dissipation.
I think the places where boundaries are most challenging are the ones where boundaries are less clear. For example, two friends might be having a casual conversation between one another, and one friend, because of the open nature of a friendship, might say something unintentionally that could offend the other friend (although in this case boundary transgression could be easily addressed in my humble opinion).
@littleBranch4130
Very interesting reflections! It sounds like you really value your personal space and like to know that there is a way out for you to feel safe in your environment.
It can be so challenging when friends overstep boundaries as we are often tempted to have our boundaries violated so we do not upset those closest to us. It takes a lot of practice to place them and maintain them too.