Destined for loneliness
My whole life I've felt like an outcast. I've always had trouble relating to people. Pretty quickly I've became that weird, awkward kid that everyone was either avoiding or making fun of. Despite trying to just be nice to others I was never anyone's first choice. I grew up believing that there's just something fundamentally wrong with me and having a *** step-father later only cemented that belief even more.
Now I'm in my 30's and I feel like I've missed every chance I ever had to give my life any meaning. All I can do is try not to think too much and just go through the whole routine until I'm finally gone and forgotten.
@pluckyOcean9581 There are two relationships - the one you have with yourself and the one you have with others. You are not the problem, you just lack the skills to develop these relationships. That is great news because skills can be learned and they are probably a lot easier than you think. Start by being willing to believe what I say is true, then go looking for resources to learn these new skills.
@pluckyOcean9581 I did many things and lived many places. It was not until I was in my mid thirties that I decided to do something with my life. I finished my degree and started working for a company where I could work my way up to a job I wanted to do.
What I did is make a list of all the things I wanted to do in my life and then pick some of them that were doable and start doing them.
There's a lot to of things I'd like to do. The problem is that I give up at the first big hurdle and just drop it completely. After that I keep feeling guilty and over time it just becomes another mental burden.
@pluckyOcean9581 I have had a tendency to try to accomplish a task in one step. Instead I say to myself, how can I break this down into small, doable steps. Then I figure out what I can do right now. It makes the whole project seem less imposing.