AMA Ask the Therapists Anything - CLOSED to new questions - Read Questions to and Answers by the therapists

@NeonBlueberry1843 Please give some tips on procrastination due to feelings of incompetence

Hi @NeonBlueberry1843,

Thanks for your question. We often engage in procrastination because of the feelings associated with the activity. If the activity elicits feelings of anxiety, dread, grief or other emotions which might cause us discomfort, then there is a high chance that you may avoid the activity until the last minute. However, this can cause the feelings to intensify because of the need to perform under pressure; it becomes a cycle. So, addressing these feelings is of utmost importance- in your case, the feeling of incompetence. Meanwhile, you can try to break down the activity into smaller steps that could be done over time. It helps to follow a routine or a schedule. Also, rewarding yourself after completing each step can help to enhance your mood and make you feel more positive about the activity.

@TheJeff 35 years married and my wife has entered menopause. Do you think therapy would help us navigate through menopause issues? If so, what type of therapist would be best? So many discussions to address from mental state to sex issues. Hard to figure out what type of therapy would be best.

Hi @TheJef, thank you for your question!

I'm so glad you're talking about this because this topic is rarely discussed! Menopause can affect your wife’s physical and mental health. As her body goes through the physical changes, she might experience stress. There are still a lot of stigmas attached to menopause. So it would help to address the perception you and your wife hold about it. It would be a good decision to seek couples therapy. This will help to address both your doubts and concerns. It will also bring you both closer. Couples therapy can help to improve communication and help the partners work towards a common goal. Therapists are trained to be non-judgemental, and our goal is to provide a safe space for our clients. So I'm sure you'll benefit from it!

@howegeorgia20 I want to know how I can get help anxiety and depression it's hard to tell anymore due to selective mutism this triggers depression.

Hi @howegeorgia20!

Thank you for your question! We are social animals, and we often need to communicate our needs to others. Not being able to do so can have an adverse effect on our health. Therapy can be very helpful. Therapy here is a safe and non-judgmental space to discuss what's on your mind. You and your therapist can set goals and work at a pace you're comfortable with. A platform like 7 Cups allows you to remain anonymous and chat with mental health professionals. A therapist will be able to address the anxiety and depression you are going through. You will also be able to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence, which can help with selective mutism.

@CourageousPomegranate766 Can feelings of being broken be overcome drug-free

Hi @CourageousPomegranate766!

Thank you for your question! Mental health can surely be improved without the use of medical drugs. However, a mental health concern does create biological changes within the body, especially the chemicals in our brains. Sometimes, medicines may be required to get bodily functions back to normal. So the perfect combination in this situation would be therapy along with the proper medication. Therapy by itself can greatly benefit your mental health, and you will be able to process the grief you're going through. Your therapist will also be able to help you with coping strategies to help with the emotional pain. So, visiting a mental health professional will be a good idea. They will be able to guide you through the right treatment plan. Take care!

@Nico I am attempting to come out as being Gay, I told my Mom, but she freaked out! I am also having a difficult time starting a conversation with a man to who I am attracted to. If you have any recommendations, I am all ears!!!

Hi @Niko! Thank you for your question! You're surely going through a very challenging phase in your life! I'm sorry to hear that your mother freaked out. There is still a lot of stigma surrounding homosexuality. Thankfully, awareness has been spreading, and things are much better than they were a few years back. Your sexuality is part of who you are, and it isn’t fair for people to be judgemental about it. Empowering yourself and working towards self-acceptance will surely give you the confidence you require. People will always continue to judge and criticise others, and judgements can be very superficial. You should consider seeking therapy with a professional specialising in queer affirmative therapy.

@soulsings Hey there, if a client is specifically asking about life advice (as in should I take Path A or Path B), what do therapists tend to say in this situation? As I recall, it is not in a therapist's place to give life altering suggestions right?

@MilaAvery Is it wrong of parents to want to know everything in their child's life just because they think that doing so, the child will not do anything wrong?

Hi @MilaAvery, Thank you for your question! It is often very difficult being a parent because it does not come with a guidebook and there are many lessons to be learned along the way and usually many mistakes to be made!

For a child to flourish and learn how to become more resilient to the struggles they are going to face in life, they need to be able to learn certain lessons for themselves. It is difficult as a parent to take a step back but one that is necessary at times for the child to grow. Some parents feel that if they are more in control of a situation that they'll be able to navigate the ship but it doesn't always work out that way. Although, usually most of those behaviours are because the parent(s) wish to protect their children and it is their way of showing the love and care.

@tenthanks How to stop obsessing over a friend? This person is constantly popping up in my head no matter what I'm doing, sometimes I even have fake conversations in my head with them, however I know I'm being delusional, this friend doesn't even care about me, we haven't talked in months... I don't know what to do, it doesn't make sense but I can't stop.

Hi @Tenthanks,

Thank you for your question! It sounds like you really wish you had more interaction with your friend and perhaps this is why you find yourself thinking about them often. It is difficult when we ruminate and think about a certain situation often as it can take us away from the things in life that we enjoy. It sounds like you may need to try to focus on your own life and what makes you happy and feel fulfilled without focusing too much on your friend. It can be difficult to stop ruminating but some ways in which we can feel better when our mind is busy is to journal (we have a great journalling feature on 7 Cups!), reaching out for support from another person and practising mindfulness. All of those you can do here on 7 Cups if it is something you wish to do! :)

@Walker7957 Hello, I’m looking at starting 7Cups therapy again but with a new therapist. Is it possible for a therapist to choose me rather than me choosing them? I think I would rather someone select me if they believe to be able to help me as best as possible.

Hi @Walker7957,

Thank you for your question! Usually, in any setting, a therapist would not typically choose their client as they would come to the therapist for therapy. Although at 7 Cups, we are able to match you with a therapist if you feel like this would be better for you. It can be done here: https://www.7cups.com/therapists, you can search for the issues you wish to receive therapy for and make sure you select the tickbox that says Provides Online Therapy and you'll be able to find a therapist that meets your needs. If you have any questions you can email us too support@7cups.com and you are able to switch as many times as you need to find the right therapist for you as we really believe finding the right therapeutic fit is very important for an individual to flourish in therapy. :)