Turns out newer community is in to Meth, and I'm sober/"substance"-free...

I apologize. All of these ppl are important. I said only some of them. And, I can't expect to understand so easily, and I don't know everyones' story. I said I was friends when likely more like aquaintences. And, actually, I was too broad and accusational to say a whole community is on drugs. It isn't at all, it's not so many. I meant "someone I care about." ...I can try to understand and know I can't change people, only they can change themselves. I can compare it to drugs I do know and understand that it can be so tough to quit. It changes everything. I cannot expect anyone to take that on.

I'm going to find joy in small things in the world, and try not to stress. If it hurts me too much I probably need professional help or to find other answers.

Thanks for letting me vent.



@faithfulZebra8678

I might not be the expert on meth or anything, but I have done it in the past. I can see how it's addicting. It lifts you up, gives you an energy that can't quite be explained. The worst part (obviously besides all the other physical side effects) is the comedown - you feel worse than ever. When I did it in the past, usually for a day at a time, I would start losing that energy and my depression would hit me ten-fold. I would spend hours crying sometimes. 

I haven't done meth for many years, but I did struggle with an addiction to other uppers for a good, long time. I struggle with a lack of motivation and energy, as well as creativity and confidence. Certain uppers would give me all of those things I felt I was lacking. I could talk more when I was normally very introverted. I could write when I normally felt like I had writer's block or just lacked the energy. I could become more physically active when my first instinct is to just relax. And I wouldn't feel so gloomy all day, mood-wise. The only thing was I didn't pay attention to the bad sides of the addiction:  

1. It was expensive

2. It was physically harmful. I actually spent time in the hospital from prolonged use. 

3. It was hurting my personal relationships

4. I looked sweaty all of the time

5. I was dependent 

And the worst thing of all: now that I've stopped taking anything, I don't know how to naturally regain that energy or creativity. I suffer from depression, worse than before. I don't enjoy things like I used to. 

It's a vicious circle, and one I'm not quite certain how to recover from.