Am I even an addict?

@5hyblue3yes “Proper addict”? There are two sides to your proper addict idea, if I am understanding what you are saying. Side one, “not an addict,” and side two, “definitely an addict.” If you’re trying to get a high through just about every substance and you obsess and day dream about getting high, I’d say you fall on definitely an addict. But you can get really tripped up on definitions. Who cares if you’re an addict or not - what is clear is you are worried about your substance use. There are several ways to quit. Some people go with a 12 step program, others choose something else. A 12 step program will say something like the issue is you (e.g. like you have a chronic life long but treatable disease). Another theory is that environment plays a part (google addiction and rat hotel) and I interpret that to mean primarily the “environment in our head”. You can’t make a lot of progress with any model unless you are not continuing the habit of using. Even if your friends are saying there is no issue and this might be what you mean by ”proper addict,” you seem to be questioning what you are doing. Drinking more than a couple drinks a day may be a serious hit on your liver, and unless you’re into playing dice with your health, you might want to replace that activity with something like running, cycling, swimming, rock climbing, etc which can go a long way toward getting a “high” or relaxing. Best of luck.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! The rat hotel stuff is very interesting and I’ll maybe check out some 12 step stuff too when I feel a bit more ready. I don’t think I’m quite ready to give up weed and I probably never will be, but writing it all down here is helping to put stuff into perspective about alcohol and the other drugs

Nobody can say if you are, or are not, an addict. For me, addiction has nothing to do with the "drug" that I use. Addiction is a dease of my thinking. The consequences of my diseased thinking comes out iny physical, spiritual, and mental obsession to find something to put in my body to make me think and feel different.

Good news, you can go to a meeting, get a sponsor, and start working through a 12 step program. There are no contracts for you to sign, no long term commitments are required. You can quit at anytime. All that is required is that you MUST be willing, open-minded, and honest.

I took several times fore to become willing, to admit that I was an addict. I would always look for the differences between myself and others in the meetings. But once I lost everything I owned, once I lost all of my relationships, once I had nothing else to loose, then I became willing.

You can keep doing what you are doing. We all have to reach a "bottom". Some people hit this bottom early, with relationships still intact and with some money still in the bank. Others,.like myself, have to keep going until there is nothing else to loose before we are ready. Your choice.

@1691htiekK 

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