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Helpful Activities for Recovery
by SoulfullyAButterfly
Last post
 August 10th
...See more What hobbies or activities have you found helpful in your recovery?
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
 June 26th
...See more Welcome to the Alcohol & Drug Addiction Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply to this thread and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 26 August (updated by @tommy) @blueFan4699 @braveHuman6773 @jrk27 @Kitamean @PeanutButterMurph @texaswily @tommy @tornwillow @transurvivor @veronikamalik
Recovery Journey Tips
by SoulfullyAButterfly
Last post
 October 28th, 2023
...See more What tips would you give to someone who is just starting their recovery journey?
I have a high pressure software job and severe adhd
by considerateSpruce6517
Last post
 September 7th
...See more As I’m sure you can gather from the title. I have a stimulant addiction. But I also have a medically necessary reason to have them with my adhd. I’ve tried tapering off and alternative medications but it all comes down to the same thing every time. My work performance suffers so strongly that I risk losing my job and then I would be in a much bigger problem. I just want to not need them as my crutch but I can’t stop them. When I lost my insurance and ability to get my adderall I started buying armodafinil as a cheap substitute from online Indian pharmacies. I just hate feeling like I’m not in charge of the controls anymore. It feels like I’m John Malkovich in the movie Being John Malkovich. I can see everything happening but I’m not consciously controlling it. I could reach out and stop at any time but doing so would throw my life into turmoil.
I broke sobriety.
by LowEsteemPerson
Last post
 August 12th
...See more I think it was a one time thing. I got screamed at my dad some triggering things and thats whats bothering me the most.
Dealing with anxiety and drug addiction
by AdriSunshine
Last post
 August 12th
...See more I find myself turning to drugs everytime something gets difficult in life and I don’t want to deal with the emotions. Any advice ? I want to be sober and deal with things in a better way. 
Cocaine addiction
by hardworkingTriangle7822
Last post
 August 10th
...See more Advice and help on how to manage or quit
I'm going to start my journey to quit vaping
by JasperTheGreat
Last post
 April 29th
...See more TW - language
Relapse
by SunshineIvy
Last post
 April 9th
...See more i relapsed a few days on alcohol. I had been sober for almost two months before and now I feel like shit, literally. I honestly hate myself for that. Especially cause of what I did while drunk. I completely embarrassed myself. And it has really taken a lot of effort to finally start getting over the shame and gaining my self esteem and build back so many other aspects of my life, only for me to tear it all down in one night. This sucks….
Am I even an addict?
by 5hyblue3yes
Last post
 April 3rd
...See more Hi, I’m new here but having some conflicted feelings. I’m struggling and I feel like I need some help but I’m scared I’ll just be laughed at because I’m not physically dependent. Has anyone else dealt with this? (sorry for very long post, I’ve never talked about this before so getting it all out aha) I (22F) started drinking and smoking cigarettes when I was 13. I was struggling with an eating disorder and self harm (thankfully both in the past now) and fell in love with the buzz of nicotine and the escapism of alcohol. At around 14 I also tried weed for the first time but as I was new to it I didn’t know the stuff I bought was synthetic. It was scary and intense but as soon as it wore off I wanted (and had) more. I just craved that rush of actually feeling something and kept smoking it, but as I couldn’t afford much it was very occasional. But then I moved away from home to uni and suddenly had access to other drugs and the freedom to smoke weed daily which I did. I tried quite a few different drugs but my favourites were Modafinil and MDMA. I took modafinil alone and quite regularly, partly to stay awake and focused but mostly bc I liked the buzz and the feeling of my thoughts going fast. MDMA I took with friends, at first we did it like monthly then it got to the point where it was multiple times a week so a tolerance built up. Even though I took more, the positive effects reduced and the negative effects increased, so I started combining it with weed and alcohol and other drugs which resulted in some very intense highs. Somehow I still managed to stay on top of work and uni, but this was the first time I really started questioning my use as none of my housemates seemed as bothered by the tolerance as me. They seemed to see it as something fun and casual, whereas I would be anxious about picking up and if I had to go without for a while my mental health would crash. i just moved home again after 4 years and I am struggling. I still smoke weed every day and drink most nights after work (I’m a writer and bartender) but I no longer have access to anything else and I’m craving a high. It’s like I’m obsessed, I just lay in bed at night thinking about drugs and looking at old photos/videos that I’m obviously high in. I’m smoking more weed than ever and I’ve even been popping caffeine pills just to try to get a buzz. I feel restless and reckless and like I’m gonna go crazy if I can’t find anything. I have a family history of addiction (my dad) and alcoholism (my dad’s dad and my mums sister), and I feel like I need help but the idea terrifies me. I have no desire to stop smoking weed (and I can’t relax/sleep without it anyway) but I’m scared of *** up my life if I give in to the other cravings. I’m stuck somewhere in between and I don’t know what to do. Something needs to change but I feel like a fraud for even writing this post bc I’m not a ‘proper addict’. Has anyone else dealt with these kinds of feelings?
I don’t believe I'm an addict/alcoholic…but I can’t have an open discussion about that with my partner. They're obviously scared and hurt, and think i
by TheEdgeU2
Last post
 March 24th
...See more I admitted to myself and my partner, as well as our couples therapist and my individual therapist, that I had developed an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I started drinking more in late-summer of last year, as a means of self-medicating and a way to ignore my stress and anxiety and exhaustion. Instead of focusing on trying to address and remedy those things in a healthy and productive way, I drank to numb my brain and turn my mind off, after a long stressful day of work and after dealing with family responsibilities. I felt like I never had much time for myself and relied on alcohol as an “escape”. I started drinking more and more, to the point of falling asleep and not remembering conversations I’d had the evening before. I started hiding alcohol, sneaking drinks when I was alone in the kitchen, or out of the house. I also started to lose control of my emotions, leading to lots of aggressive and angry fights, shouting matches, and harsh and unkind words being tossed at my partner for no reason. Obviously, this hurt them and put a huge strain on our relationship. The lying about the alcohol use and hiding the extent of it was clearly a huge issue, and I fully acknowledged that and made myself accountable. I was told that I have an addiction and that I need to seek rehab or lose my relationship and family. However…based on conversations with my therapist and knowing myself, I don’t think I fully have an “addiction”, nor do I feel that I am an alcoholic. At the end of the day, what I did was wrong and unhealthy, and hurt those close to me…but as I look back and reflect on it, I see a lot of my alcohol abuse as more of a “habit” than an addiction. I started drinking more and more, and seemingly felt "better"...and soon it was just sort of something I "did". I would pour a drink (or three) at night to wind down; but I would also take a bottle or can with me and sip on it while out in the garage, etc. I am fully aware of the negative aspects and addictive tendencies that are demonstrated by lying about drinking and hiding it, but, truthfully I feel like I was doing that not because I had to or I was addicted to it and needed to "get a fix"...but rather because I knew it was unhealthy, and I felt ashamed and was scared to admit that I was struggling and needed to re-evaluate my relationship with alcohol. I am now almost 30 days alcohol free. I stopped cold turkey and had no side effects, no withdrawal symptoms, and functionally, no cravings for alcohol. I don’t miss the feeling of getting drunk. I don’t miss numbing out my feelings. I have, earlier this year, gotten on depression and anxiety medication and it has significantly improved my self esteem and mental health. I don’t feel the compulsion to drink to numb out my feelings and thoughts. I have been able to sit with them and consider my emotions and have been digging into past trauma and reasons why I struggle with sharing my feelings, with being authentic, and with addressing and working on fixing deep-rooted emotional issues. I found that while I don't miss it, I do miss the ritualistic aspects of drinking. I miss mixing a cocktail on a Friday night; I miss having a couple glasses of wine while watching the Bachelor; I miss having a few beers while watching a sports game; I miss enjoying a drink at a concert; I miss sipping on some whiskey while reading a book in the evening. I am grateful for the break I took from alcohol, to help me see and feel this new perspective. I am hurt and ashamed and feel horrible for the way I treated my partner and for my failure and denial to admit to myself that there were issues with what I was doing in the moment. But I have taken steps now to try and rectify that and improve my behavior, my mental health, and my relationship (both with my partner and with alcohol). I would love and hope to someday be able to drink healthy again, to have a few and be able to call it a night when I know I need to. I feel confident that I can do that. But my partner does not: they think that my even calling it "more of a habit" is a denial and "exactly what an addict would say". They think that I can't really develop a healthy relationship with alcohol unless I start committing now to being sober for the rest of my life. I feel constantly on-watch, under scrutiny, and like I can't discuss alcohol or substances or anything like that without being judged. It is really stressful and difficult, and I understand the pain and mistrust I've caused...but I would like to be able to talk with them about the realities of my alcohol abuse and not have my experience shaded by immediately jumping to conclusions of "all or nothing" alcohol addiction. I'd like to be able to get to a point where I can show that I can drink a "healthy" (I know no amount is healthy, per se) and reasonable amount, and not go overboard, nor let it become a habit again. For now, I am feeling confident and hopeful with my decision to be alcohol-free, for however long it lasts. I am proud to have a month under my belt soon, and look forward to seeing continued improvements in my future. I don't even know what I was hoping for by posting this... Sorry for the long, rambling wall of text. I guess I am just looking for some outside insight, comments, feedback, or advice. I wish you all the best. IWNDWYT!
Relapse pt2
by Patienceiscool
Last post
 March 7th
...See more TW VAPES  Hello everyone! I know I'm a teen but I have been struggling ever since I posted the last one I got some support and I have been doing better, but I hit it again after 2 years and I'm not happy with myself. It also doesn't help when your boyfriend does it and your friend I can't really escape from it.  Thanks for reading 
so tired.
by maxisthebest
Last post
 February 27th
...See more Im so tired of smoking weed. I'm so tired of my nose burning because I'm snorting coke, I'm tired of having scars because I'm injecting heroin, but I cant stop. Whenever I'm not sober, things always turn out for the worst. The bare minimum I have to have is nicotine. I always have some sort of drug on me. Im 15, and 16 weeks pregnant. If I don't stop soon, this baby will die. But I don't know how to stop. I hate it, so much. I just want the baby to be born and be okay. I'm js so tired of this. @pixierobin @iloveyouxx @free2118 sorry for tags- love you all. anyone is welcome to reply
i cant stop taking painkillers
by cadenssocks
Last post
 February 22nd
...See more lately, (in the last year or so) every time things get hard ive turned to over-the-counter painkillers. i usually used them for headaches (which i get often) but once i realized they could also have a mind-numbing effect ive started using them for things outside of physical pain, sometimes taking more than the recommended dosage. as a person with adhd, i know i am very prone to addiction and im scared i'm headed in that direction. im scared if i ever get access to anything stronger, i wont be able to say no. i dont exactly have someone close to me i can really talk to about any of this and if i tried to call a help line or anything like that i think id end up causing more problems than id be solving. so thats why i came here i really just want to stop myself now before it leads to something way worse and maybe find a better way to cope when i start to feel awful
Relapse
by Patienceiscool
Last post
 February 17th
...See more TW :: V@PES  Hello my name is patience and i haven't used a v@pe for 2 years and finally I relapsed again and I feel like i need some support 

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