Rehab is hard

Hello everyone,

I am an alcoholic and tried to harm myself. I am in recovery and rehab but it is so *** hard. Dont know what to feel in this moment. Using my medicine regularly but i feel like they dont help a bit.

I used to tell lies to my family and my coworkers about my drinking problem. I even showed up drunk to work a couple of times. My family and coworkers are really helpfull about my rehab and they forgive all my lies. I think i need to feel blessed but all i want is keep drinking. Any advices?