New here

Hello all. I am new to 7 cups and am looking forward to sobriety and healing. I am an abuser of alcohol and have struggled for numerous years with this addiction. I can go a few weeks sober but then I end up going on a binder, binging alcohol, mostly to the point of blackouts as once I start I find it difficult to stop and I cannot recall anything. My behaviors during these episodes are extremely hurtful to myself and my relationships. I act out of character and I have potentially ruined most of my relationships due to alcohol. After a binge I feel uneasy, like I am on rocky ground, I also feel weak, helpless, and shame. I have even called out sick from my job due to this abuse. I am allowing alcohol to ruin my life and I do not want to hit the bottom before I get help. I know sobriety isnt easy but I am sure it is worth it.