What if cutting back makes me not fun
I enjoy drinking on days off... the beach, shopping, the pool, out to eat... whatever. I also drink at night after work most days. I do take days where I don't drink at all but I am drinking about 6-10 drinks 4-5 days a week typically. Often even if I've had a fun day, I will wake up with my heart racing feeling anxiety for something I may have said or done. It often takes me awhile to even recall what TV show I watched that evening. But the real problem is maybe every 1-2 months I will be drinking and be triggered by something and unable to control my behavior. I have an outburst and say and do things I do not mean, things I have no memory of later and be mortified and confused. I know alcohol doesn't cause this anger but it prevents me from being able to control it. I have damaged relationships with those I truly love. But I am afraid to cut back on drinking for fear that if I don't continue to drink during these day off activities I will no longer be seen as fun and people will not want to be around me as much.
@turquoiseGrapes5391 Hello, it sounds like alcohol is a significant part of your social life, but that it interferes with your memory and control over anger. Only you can decide whether these problems outweigh the potential risk of rejection and how much to cut back on your drinking. This resource might be helpful to you: https://www.7cups.com/alcohol-drug-abuse/ Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk more about this.