What if cutting back makes me not fun

I enjoy drinking on days off... the beach, shopping, the pool, out to eat... whatever. I also drink at night after work most days. I do take days where I don't drink at all but I am drinking about 6-10 drinks 4-5 days a week typically. Often even if I've had a fun day, I will wake up with my heart racing feeling anxiety for something I may have said or done. It often takes me awhile to even recall what TV show I watched that evening. But the real problem is maybe every 1-2 months I will be drinking and be triggered by something and unable to control my behavior. I have an outburst and say and do things I do not mean, things I have no memory of later and be mortified and confused. I know alcohol doesn't cause this anger but it prevents me from being able to control it. I have damaged relationships with those I truly love. But I am afraid to cut back on drinking for fear that if I don't continue to drink during these day off activities I will no longer be seen as fun and people will not want to be around me as much.