New Here

Hi, everyone, I'm new here to 7 Cups and to forums I struggle with alcohol dependency every day. It makes me hate myself and feel disappointed in myself when I drink, and I always drink too much. I've been drinking every day for almost 3 years now. I never used to much at all but my old boss, who I loved like a father and was also an alcoholic, passed away, and I used alcohol to cope. Then the pandemic happened and it became "acceptable" to day drink. Now I'm scaring myself because I've started to develop nerve damage and recently I woke up with a terrible headache and tried to read the news but it was like I had forgotten how to read; all the words were coming out jumbled.

My new girlfriend and I are starting to get serious and I've found out a lot of the people in her family struggle with alcoholism, including one family member who is actually dying of cirrhosis of the liver. I know changes like these aren't supposed to be for other people but I really care about her a lot and I don't want to be another one of those people in her life. My father was an alcoholic when he was alive and I know he wouldn't want me to be going down this path.

It's taken me some time to realize these things but I am grateful to even be realizing them. It's scary talking to my family about this because of judgement so thank you, 7 Cups and this forum, for being here. ❤️ I want to do better for myself and for the people I love. I want to be a good example and role model for my nieces.