Issues with Alcohol

I started drinking when I joined the military. It got out of hand but I didn't care. I was 18 the first time I drank and I didn't know my limits. Well fast-forward a few more years, and I still didn't. My tolerance grew higher and higher. I thought it was something to be proud of. I was "out drinking" grown men and thought it was cool. I was assaulted while under the influence and that should have been my wake up call but it wasn't. It honestly just made it worse. I started drinking in the morning, during work and throughout the night to feel better. I moved to new duty station and tried to have a clean slate. I was fine at first because we were under an order that prohibited drinking for the first 2 months I was there. Well, the first night we were off of that order there was a party. I figured I could have a couple drinks and be fine. And I was. But it started becoming a regular thing. Then I started drinking by myself again. One night I was at a party, they placed a bet of $100 to whoever could drink a large bottle of liquor. No one would do it, and I seen this as an opportunity to look cool. I drank the bottle in under a minute and felt fine. That. That was my wake up call.

I don't drink hardly at all anymore. If I drink it's usually wine coolers and I limit myself to 2. And even then, it's very rare. I won't lie and say I don't miss it sometimes because I do. It made me confident and that's something I lack a lot of. But at the same time, how can I miss something that was so harmful to me?