Article: How to Maintain a Social Life When You're Quitting Drinking

"Being sober doesn't have to mean giving up your social life, yet managing sobriety in a social setting (especially when alcohol is involved) can be a bit of a challenge. You may have a lot of concerns about going out after quitting drinking.

• Can I have fun without drinking?
• How will my friends react?
• Will I feel self-conscious without a little liquid courage?
• Can I say "no" and stick to it?

If you're in early recovery, you'll want to stay away from any situation where alcohol or drugs are involved for some time. These environments can trigger cravings and put you at risk of relapse.1

If you have decided to cut back on alcohol for your health, or you're more established in your sobriety, social environments that involve drinking may be easier to navigate. Still, being prepared and having a plan can help you enjoy going out after you’ve quit drinking.

Have an Honest Talk With Your Friends

It’s up to you to decide how much information to share and who to share it with. You certainly don’t have to justify your decision. Some people drink, and some people don’t. Everyone has their own choice to make, and no explanation is needed.

Let them know what they can do to help. Perhaps you’d appreciate a sober buddy, or someone else staying sober with you when you go out or helping you resist the temptation to drink. Or maybe you’d still like to hang out together, but not in bars. You might even still like to do the same things—such as playing cards or watching movies together—but without alcohol.

Hopefully, some of your friends will support your decision. In fact, some of them might also be thinking about cutting back on their own alcohol use and be inspired by you.

Be Prepared for People’s Reactions

While some of your friends may be totally supportive of your decision, others may seem indifferent or respond in a negative way. Your sobriety might serve as a reminder to your "drinking buddies" that they're consuming unhealthy amounts of alcohol, or stir up a bit of anxiety if they feel uncomfortable socializing sober. Or, they may simply want you to partake alongside them because they think you’ll all have more fun together when drinking.

Just knowing a few possible reactions will help ensure that you're not taken by surprise and you're able to cope:

• Nagging: Your friends may say things like, “Come on, can you please just have one drink to loosen up a little?”
• Teasing: You may get made fun of for being "boring" or "lame." Some friends might say you can’t handle your alcohol or that you’re getting too old to drink.
• Cajoling: Your friends might try to act as though they’re doing you a favor by buying you a drink, so you can “have fun.” Or, they may try to convince you that if you just have one drink, they won’t tell anyone.
• Peer pressure: Your pals might gang up on you a bit and try to talk you into having a drink. They may even pass out a round of shots and try to insist that you join in.
• Confrontation: An upset friend may even confront you and insist that your unwillingness to drink is a sign of something bigger, like a “controlling partner” or “a midlife crisis.”

A change in your friendship dynamics doesn’t have to be a bad thing, however. You might find the shift welcoming. There’s always a chance that you’ll enjoy conversations with your friends more when you’re sober. And you may even find that they appreciate you more or respect your decisions.

Have a Non-Alcoholic Drink on Hand

It’s helpful to have something in your hand at all times. So if you go to a place that serves alcohol, maybe you can immediately order a non-alcoholic drink.

If you go to someone’s home, bring your own drink. Whether you have bottled water or a protein shake with you, keeping a drink in your hand can prevent people from offering you alcohol. It will also help you decline more easily if you are offered a drink, because you can say, “No thanks, I already have one.”

Try New Things With Your Friends

If your friends are up for trying things that don’t involve alcohol, then you can make some suggestions.

• Invite them to go to a park, a museum, or hiking.
• Sign up for a class or new activity together.

You might find that you get to know each other much better when you’re creating new memories—rather than standing around in the same old bars. They might have fun exploring new places and trying new things with you.

Seek Out People Who Don’t Drink

You may need to shift your social circle to include people who don’t drink. This may seem tough at first. If you’re surrounded by people who make alcohol a big part of their lives, it can feel like everyone drinks.

But in reality, there are plenty of people out there who don’t drink—and who are looking for friends who don’t drink. You just have to find them. You might need to try new activities so that you can meet sober people, including:

• Join a volunteer organization.
• Attend events that don’t serve alcohol.
• Join social media groups for people who participate in sober activities.

When you get together with such people, you’ll likely find that they do plenty of activities that don’t involve alcohol—like hiking, skiing, playing games, or fishing. And you might even find that you enjoy doing these types of things much more than activities that involve alcohol.

A Word From Verywell

Regardless of why you decide to change your drinking habits, socializing sober can feel scary. If you find that you’re struggling to avoid alcohol, or you’re feeling lonely and isolated, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can support your efforts and help you find the strategies that work best for you, your health, and your life."

*Our society places a lot of emphasis on socialization and alcohol. In reality, though, alcohol doesn't have as much of an appeal as it should. There are plenty of fun activities to do that don't involve alcohol. If you are cutting back or quitting drinking completely, that's totally fine! You may face some negative reactions from people, but if your friends are treating you negatively because you decided to stop drinking, then you deserve better friends anyway. Friends should support your decisions always! If you still want to go out with friends to places that serve alcohol, having a mocktail is a really great idea! You can still take fun pictures of your fancy drink, but you won't have any effects from the alcohol. Whatever you decide to do, I am proud of you because quitting anything is difficult and you don't owe anyone an explanation. The right people will come along and support you for you. Do whatever makes your heart happy! Do you have any other suggestions for how to maintain a social life when you're quitting drinking?*

#QuittingDrinking #Sobriety #SocialLife

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