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I feel under the weather in this moment

exhausted10100 October 23rd

Quite sad actually, just too much exam stress, and just my mental health is vulnerable. Also I don't have fast friends I can immediately confide in, so I am talking about my feeling here. The exam I'll give, the stakes are high ( my future employment in question) , high uncertainty, and high competition. It's crushing pressure. Also it doesn't help that I have helicopter parents. The true, real motivation for me is once I clear this exam I can move out of my parents house. Freedom at last. For me that's the most precious thing, not money but freedom. I just don't feel good. This crippling anxiety forming background noise each day, and waking up with a pit of dread each morning. I know this will pass and is a temporary state, but the thing is this has been going on for 4 years. And I think I have reached my breaking point.


Any support or kind comments will help. I really could use that right now.

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BlueDarkAurora October 24th

@exhausted10100 You've got a wonderful goal and I like how you used the word precious for it, shows how much it means to you.

In the morning and before sleep, try to remind yourself of the reasons you're doing all the hard work for, remind yourself of the freedom you're working for. Journal about your thoughts, your dreams and all that you wish to accomplish. Motivational videos help too right? ^^ I do that whenever I feel like I'm losing focus. If you're already doing all these steps then good job! Hope you're also giving yourself some rest. 

I'm sorry that your parents are adding to the already heavy pressure that you feel but I'm glad you have us here<3

chibird-motivational-gif.gif

2 replies
exhausted10100 OP October 26th

That gif is so cute!! Thanks for leaving a reply... I used to watch motovational videos, now I don't get the same thrill of it. In fact I don't like the term at all. Instead I go by determination. I tried joirnaling too but it slows down my thinking. Today I am better, but that day I was not. Little ups and downs of life. If I could represent my mood with a range say 1 to 10 , 1 being the worst, right now I'm averagibg at 4.5-5 per day. Somedays I touch 7 if I'm lucky. After this exam, after clearing it I mean in the first attempt, I should be able to reach a average of 7 per day. And I think that's a pretty good and well lived life according to me.


The song “I lived” by one republic speaks to my soul rn


Thanks again! For taking the time to read and reply, means a lot to me

1 reply
BlueDarkAurora October 27th

@exhausted10100 Determination is anchored so well. Glad to know you're better today <3 and I hope you get to touch 7 and above often.

That's a good song ^^ Have a great day!

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Apeatrice October 26th

@exhausted10100

Hey. Thanks for reaching out in our community. Writing to let you know that:

  • You are strong, you have been through so much and yet you are still standing, refusing to fall.
  • I believes in you, you can do this.
  • Take time out for yourself and be gentle with yourself.

🫂

1 reply
exhausted10100 OP October 26th

Thanks, for believing in me, even though you don't know me and we have never seen each other, but still knowing that people are supportive and kind, gives me hope.


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calmMango9611 October 26th

@exhausted10100 I hope you feel better soon. I really do.