Little Passion for anything

I just got off the phone with my parents and told them I was thinking of changing majors because I feel like it's not what I was expecting. Keeping in mind I'm a business administration major (leadership for sustainability concentration). I told them I was thinking of changing to communications because I've found required courses like accounting and economics difficult.

For my BA major, there are 2 Econs and 3 accountings required to take and last semester I got a C in Econ and I currently have a C in accounting. I just cannot make myself engaged and do well because I find the content so boring and I chose that major looking for more of an "advertising" type of business, related to sustainability. I can't get myself to go to lab for help with concepts because I don't want to feel weak by asking for help but then I end up making it worse and making my GPA drop. im already at a low GPA because of previous classes and its likely going to drop below a 3.0 which is required to keep my annual scholarship.

My parents pay more for me to go to school here than they would've if I'd stayed at home, so losing that scholarship would be horrible for the cost of my education but it would also likely make them wish id gone to school at home instead. Plus my sister is in school at the same time as me so its double the amount of money being spent.

My dad said I could do the business degree and that I should expect hard classes because its business, and college will have difficult classes. it felt invalidating but at the same time, I know he's right. I just can't make myself care to do well in those classes. my mom then asked why I was looking at communication. keeping in mind my sister is also in that major and my mom worries about what job she'll get from it since she worked in communication and knows how the industry is changing because her job with the newspaper died. Both my parents kept telling me to consider why I'd want to change, what jobs would come from changing, what salaries, etc. and I understand those are valid questions.

I just find the whole situation difficult and annoying to think about. I want my parents to understand but I also want to feel like my major is worth the money they're paying for me to go to this college. I don't want to feel guilty for wasting their money on classes I didn't need, even though I already feel guilty. I just wish it made more sense and they wouldn't question me as much but I know that's their job to question me and help me figure things out.

and I know some people don't care as much about sustainability as I do but I genuinely get anxious thinking about how the world will be so f-ed up in probaly 10-30 years because of climate change and so then I think about why does it matter what degree I get when we might not even be alive by then. As well as the anxiety about having enough money to live by myself and find a well paying job. I'm constantly anxious about these things so in my head I just want to give up because why would anything matter for college or future jobs if I wont even see myself retired.

Thank you for reading if you did, I know this is a lot <3