I don't know what to do after my undergraduate degree
Finishing my undergraduate degree soon. As a first generation student, I will be the first in my family to graduate from university. I will be wallowing in debt, and partly due to this I will not continue my education. There is LOTS of employment that can be done with only experience and no university education anyways. I think I am actually of average intelligence and it is really isolating to go to university, so I am not sure why I would continue studying. I have a poor memory and nobody is interested in me enough to give me attention. Plus, most of the students are WAY younger than me so it's like attending an upper-high school rather than a university. It's really deluded, people thinking they need to get a degree after high school to enhance employment opportunities. It used to be different in the past, but now anyone can get a degree. University as it is in the modern day just isn't the same as it used to be.
University used to mean a lot to me and was exciting, but unfortunately doesn't mean anything anymore or feel the same as it used to. All going to university is is taking in information and spitting it out until you get a piece of paper that doesn't necessarily get you employment or actually mean anything. Why would I want to do that? People who take the time to get PhDs who take in so much information for years and are lucky enough to work in a university just work to spew information on young adults who will never get a PhD and possibly not even get a career in the area of study. It sounds disgusting to me. I hope to start a new life soon where I find somewhere I belong and have a social support system.
I wonder where I should go and what I should do. I hope to move abroad and start a new life. I hope it is fulfilling, instead of this meaningless garbage and isolating lifestyle where nothing meaningful or interesting actually happens. Why I even started studying, I have no idea. I am tired of capitalist society where everything is done to get money, where people live to work and work to live, and hope to join a society that is less focused on capitalist ideals. I feel that I am being forced to be a slave by society for most of my life, and I would be very blessed to be supported by someone(s) and not work. This modern day, extortionately expensive lifestyle where everyone supposedly needs to work full-time just to survive is delusional. I actually don't want to be forced to try hard just to "be someone" in society or to work. I feel trapped in what society wants me to do, because I don't care about any of it, and this perspective isn't a result of a mental health condition. I just don't belong in this society. What I might love to do instead of being a capitalist slave is pay off my interest-incurring student debt, become a monk, and spend my time doing something like harvesting rice or tea in the mountains or hills of Asia, instead of pretending to be like these people I exist around when really I will never be like them.
If anyone would like to share their current lifestyle or experiences after university, I would love to know. I would love to know what people's experience was like as a first generation student as well- if you were one you should share. I would love to talk about university and after-university experiences, or really anything related to my post. How do you cope with capitalist society? Looking forward to discussing with you.