(TW) overdosing as a method of selfharm
TW: deliberate overdose of medication
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Might be an ‘uncommon’ method of self-harm but this is what I do. I won’t go into great details but I often impulsively take an amount of medicine of different kinds - the dose is more than what is recommended for each medicine, but not lethal enough to be immediately dangerous.
After that, most of the time I won’t physically feel anything other than perhaps a little sick, dizzy and nauseous. But it’s the awareness that I have ‘punished’ my body that I can’t drop self-harming. I know in the long-term it’s going to be a health hazard for my liver, but that’s my aim because I feel like I don’t have a future anyway.
But, just in case I change my mind someday, I’d love tips on how to overcome this method of self-harm.
(By the way, I can’t afford therapy + I have trauma related to therapy/counseling so that’s out of the picture. I don’t have anyone in my life that can help me and I 100% mean it, trust me, I’ve been trying for nearly a decade. At this point external help is impossible, so I’d only like to know how *I* can help *myself*)
@Hydrangea03 I completely understand. I do the same thing and the only thing I can really tell you is to put whatever you're using somewhere where you won't be able to easily get it or ask someone else to do it for you
@RebekahKiwii, thank you, but unfortunately I have a chronic physical illness that requires me to be near my medication at all times in case the painful symptoms appear.
If you are too much concerned with your homework and grades so I would say that you can join online new classes which matter the most and you can come over the fear with go to the website assignment which do the most for you when it comes for you to make things better and learning for the segment though
if anyone doesn't mind, I still need help with this. Please.
i wrote a long message abt this but apparently i can't send it because i am "in crisis" so i'll try to re word it. know you're not alone, i've been there. whenever you may be ready, my tip would be to take a step back and look at where you are, "i don't want to be where i am, i can stop this." you don't have to feel like this fully. i definitely didn't. in my experience it's a fake it till you make it kind of thing.
oh also hobbies; when you first start your process of getting better i wouldn't recommend anything that really leaves you alone with your mind / thoughts. i'd build up to more mental based tasks. but go for whatever you're comfortable with at first. also, know it gets easier eventually. also i forgot to say, if you need a lable for what you're going through. it should fall under substance abuse. lastly i know this isn't easy and my rambling message won't help much but know you're not alone in this. im proud of you for even asking for help. that's a big step imo. good luck with everything.
@RainbowRivers thank you so much for your response and kindness. You’re right that it probably falls under substance abuse. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to feel better these days and still relapse by overdosing every once in a while. Personally I think I’m not ready for a positive change or ‘healing’, especially given the fact that I’ve been hurt to the point of getting traumatized by people who were supposed to ‘help’ me in the past. but thank you for your comfort, I really appreciate it.