Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Self-Harm Recovery
  3. I can't tell my mother

I can't tell my mother
mothlaidre April 23rd, 2023
.

Hi I'm Moth

It really bothers me. I have been self harming since 2018. There were periods of time with no cuts for few months and sometimes i couldn't stop and just every day something new. Now I'm more stable but I am still an addict. I'm really close with my mom. I used to tell her most ofthings that bothered mr. But i have never told her about my asddiction. And I don't think i will ever do it.

When I'm pulling out anything about my mental healt or what caused my depression or anxiety she always ends with "It was my fault because i didn't rased you good". That's obviously not the case. Sometimes even the best parent's can't prevent social repercusions. But no matter how hard i try to explain it to here she still sticks with being "bad mother".

It just really hurts me that i won't be ever able to really share about my mental problems because she takes it so much

Thanks for reading guys

Stay safe and hydrated

4
toughTiger6481 April 25th, 2023
.

@mothlaidre

I feel for you as i think your moms reaction to blame herself may be her issue in feeling like there was other things she could have done...... that is not being supportive of your situation now ... we all have would have or could have moments .......reality is people make errors and mistakes and sometimes choices we wished they didn't but playing ........." it is my fault i did not do this or that " helps no one.

As a mom i can tell you it is hard to let go and realize some things happen.............. regardless of how we did raising kids......

mothlaidre OP April 25th, 2023
.

@toughTiger6481 thank you for replying Tiger. I understand this guilt that my mom feel. Problem she doesn't see this as a problem? She is being mad at me for not telling and feeling guilty at the same time and I doesn't help anyone. She has a lot lot of trauma. Unfortunately she sticked with thoughts like "therapists are liars". I'm worried about her

toughTiger6481 April 25th, 2023
.

@mothlaidre

we can always hope and wish for someone to see their issues and seek help............. but we cannot do it for them.........many times we hope we can and we often sacrifice our growth and truth to somehow make it easier on others. we all have had issues and they best we can hope for is a hand up when we stumble but not expecting others to smooth out the road before us.

i had issues and when my child shared their journey.......... It has been clear on more then one occasion............. that my reactions or guilt ........made me reflect on me and accept my items and seek growth for myself.......


mothlaidre OP April 25th, 2023
.

@toughTiger6481 I'm happy for you and for your growth. Sorry for what happened about your child. I'm happy you are here to grow even more

Ps: I jus don't know of my mom will live long enough to work it out. she is planning to go to Ukraine to volunteer

*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist