Who Self-Harms?
Hey everybody! :) I see on SO MANY websites that talk about self-harm relate the act of self-harming to mental illnesses, and I'd like to take a moment to combat that. I'm not saying that everyone who self-harms doesn't have a mental illness or are just faking it. No, mental illness is not something to knowingly and consciously fake and be proud of. What I'm trying to say is that not EVERYONE who self-harms has to have a mental illness to use it to cope.
ANYONE can self-harm. And by anyone, I mean absolutely ANYBODY. A person who self-harms can have the best support network, amazing grades and seem so successful and look like they're ging to go far in life. Anyone can self-harm, ranging from excelling students to those who are struggling, from people with heaps of friends to those who want to fit in, from those happy, bright people to those who are sensitive, from leaders and professionals to young children, people from advantaged backgrounds to people from disadvantaged backgrounds, from celebrities to peers, from people you admire to people you dislike, from bosses to workers. And the list can go on forever. Self-harm DOES NOT discriminate.
At the end of the day, what we see from people is just what they want to show us. We don't know their innermost thoughts and beliefs, we don't know their entire past or family history.
So please be kind to everybody you know, as you never know what might be going on behind closed doors.
I see on so mamy websites that don't address this, and thought I should! Have a good rest of the week everyone, and remember to take care of yourselves and the ones you love!
If you ever need help, remember that 7 Cups is always here for you, as well as this awesome community! xx
@rebecca947 This is absolutely true! Yes! I remember what once a school counselor told me "you don't look like someone who would self-harm" - and many people still hold this perspective, that there's a specific "type" of person that will and other than that, it's not possible. But it's true, self-harm doesn't discriminate, we can't know what's in someone's mind, how their life is truly like, how their mind is, what struggles they are going through. No matter age, gender, social economical class, education, personality, strengths/weaknesses, etc.. 
Someone who is really so afraid to talk to someone that they chose to inflict the pain on themselves.
@manna7cups
Mmm, that's also a good reason! Afraid to seek help for many reasons, but one of them is probably the stigma that is still attached to seeking help- being seen as weak. Thank you for commenting! :) xx
@manna7cups
So true. Thanks for sharing this!!
Yes! So many people think teenage girls are the only people who self harm -_-
@brightEyes4450
Ignorant people ... what can we say right :/
@brightEyes4450
Mmm, that's what a lack of education on this topic does- creates stigma :(
@brightEyes4450
No not only teens self harm. Anyone can self harm!!!! I started self harm when I was a child!!!!
@niceJackfruit909
me too D:
sorry you had to go through that
From my experience and another old friend aswell, it was because we were desperate. We had alot of pressure in our lives and was so much we just wanted a break to breathe without constant voices in our heads, you know? Just some silence to be able to genuinly smile or have a good moment.
@Booklover95
Mmm, that's a big and common reason for why some self-harm. It was a quick release, easy way out of our minds in a way. But once you're in, it can be so hard to get out. I hope you both feel better and realise there's more than just harming yourself. ❤
Also, very nicely worded!! xx
@rebecca947
she is 100% free of self harm :)
I'm still struggling but I'm better aswell.
Thank you
@Booklover95
Yay, I'm glad to hear of it! I hope you get better soon- you deserve more than what self-harm can ever give to you! <3 xx
@Booklover95
I'm proud of you!! Keep up the great work!! 😊😊😊😊
Me.. it
@DavidMatt
Aww, I'm sorry to hear you're doing this act :( It can be really hard to let go of, and yes, it does act like an addiction. It pulls you in and then makes it worse over time. The first step is acknowledgement, then reaching out for help. I hope you get the support you want, and good luck on your journey and recovery! I believe in you. ❤
@DavidMatt
I understand. You're not the only one in the same boat with self harm. It can become an addiction!! Your mind and body says I want to feel better now. So you self harm. You're mind says it OK to do self harm. Because that's the only knows that way. To get relief. Your body and mind doesn't know healthier ways. To get relief or to cope.
@rebecca947
Sometimes i think im self harming for attention somedays, i have no reason to do it either other than the pain just feels good to me. i wish people knew that self-harm can be addicting and that we cant just stop in one day. i used to cut around 50-40 times a week. now its 20-21 times a month. im making progress and im proud of it. i just wish i could spell better now XD
@WisdomTorch
We all have our reasons for why we self-harm, and we shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of it! Our reasons don't make our self-harm any less valid than the next person's reasons. And well done!! I'm also very proud of you and what you've achieved so far!! Keep up the good work ❤ xx thank you for sharing with us!
@WisdomTorch
Keep up with the good work! !! I'm proud of you!! 😊😊😊😊
Trying to stop self harming but finding it so difficult due to it has become a way for me to sleep better and cope with the guilt surrounding my traumatic past
@teleah70
I know what you mean. I understand you!! I'm here for you!! I all so had traumatic pass too!!!!
@teleah70
Aww, I'm really sorry you had a traumatic past :( It makes sense why self-harm has become your coping mechanism, and I understand how hard it can be to stop, for any reason. I am SO proud of you for wanting AND trying to stop! You're already on the road to recovery for yourself, and that is amazing. Have you spoken to a professional that specialises in traumatic experiences? They might be able to help you process through your past, which could help you cope with your self-harm? I wish you all the best, and never forget how brave and how strong you are for making it this far. <3 xx
@rebecca947
I do
@lightAcai6143
I'm sorry to hear that you self-harm :( It can be really stigmatising, especially when people don't know the truth about the act of self-harming. I hope you find your way onto the path of recovery one day, and good luck with your journey! If you want distraction techniques or other diversion techniques from self-harm, you can find them in our Resources subforum in this awesome Self-Harm Recovery subcommunity, or I can post some links for you, if you'd like me to :) xx
Everyone who needs a (usually secretive) way of letting your problems out because of us being too afraid or not having anyone to go to. Even me
@RecoveringFlower
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling in silence as well :( It's a tough place to be, feeling like self-harm is the only way to help us cope. I do like your definition of who self-harms: it is definitely one reason, and a common one too. I hope you find other positive ways to help cope, and everyone is here to help aid your process. You just have to ask for it- you're not a burden :) xx
@rebecca947 This is really interesting, I dont think I've ever looked at it this way. For me, I have a mental illnesses that I feel cause me to self harm and so its difficult for me to wrap my head around healthy people self harming. How do you think a person who does not have a mental illness self-harms differenly from a person who does? I think i may need to re-think exactly what self-harm even means, because I'm sure it's not limited to cutting.
@fullm00n
I'm glad you've found a new perspective to potentially look through :) I'm sorry to hear that you self-harm too, regardless of why or what causes you to do so :( I am one of the "healthy people" who self-harm, so I can only try to explain from my perspective! I knew of self-harm years ago before I started, and I think I started out of curiosity first, then I slowly did it more and more because I felt that it helped me cope with stressful or hard situations and then eventually, it went out of hand and I was fully in. I never thought it would happen to me to be trapped by this addiction-like behaviour (it's hard for anyone to believe they'd be trapped, I think) but it did. I think many people who self-harm are the same to a certain aspect- we are looking for ways to control something we feel we have minimal or no control over, and/or we are looking for ways to help us cope with difficult situations/emotions/thoughts. We all self-harm for a reason, whether that be conscious or subconscious, and that's the very basis of it (the only generalised statement I feel comfortable saying haha).
And yes, you're correct! Self-harm isn't just limited to cutting, though that is what comes to most people's minds when they hear the word self-harm! Self-harm is a variety of different things including scratching until you bleed, interfering with the wound healing process, burning etc, but the basic definition of self-harm is to deliberately hurt yourself without the intent of suicide. I hope this helps, and thank you so much for being brave and opening up about your thoughts and views on this sensitive topic. I wish you the best on your life journey! <3 :)