Whyyy am i doing it? Good question

Tw————- sh why do i self harm? I have no idea i just do i get urges no matter how im feeling and when i do it i *** hate it so much idk why i even get urges in the first place honestly there is no point to these urges and its bugging me out i just randomly one day started getting them in skl and guess what now i get urges every *** day its not even been a week of this *** ive never cut deep enough to bleed however the most painful part of it is trying to hide that *** bcuz it still leaves marks in fact the main reason why i dont cut enough to bleed is bcuz ik it will not go fast ik the marks will last ages