TW

I know this is a literal community for selfharm recovery but it still feels better to put the trigger warning on.

I'm struggling so much. I've not used sh for years to vlcope but more and more it comes back up in my head and today it just didn't leave. The thoughts about it consumed me, I am getting this desperate to shut my head up. I don't see anything else working. I just want my brain to shut up, even for a second. And I can't tell anyone and no one knows. But the urge is so high, I don't know how long I can distract myself from it.