Not sure what it is, just felt like letting out.
Is it SH when it's just a small cut? A repeated small cut over and over? Nothing that's lifes threatening. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to end the life for i want to live maybe not myself but for my parents.
It's just i have never admitted myself it's SH, for what harm could a small cut do? And what scares me the most, is that I never want to stop. It gives me relief when I am stressed, depressed even. It's not very frequent,just monthly once when I have a breakdown. I feel like maybe it will prevent the bad things that will happen.
I stopped it actually for more than a month but then I was stressed, remembered I never SH in a month,I wanted to do it and I did. It gave me relief, well sort of. Made my pain less.
But then again, does it matter? it's just a small cut, nothing major.
I am very new to my recovery journey, but I think for the most impactful answer, whether it is or isn’t, is for you to decide possibly with the help of a licensed therapist or possibly even a doctor.
some people probably don’t think my method is considered SH, but it absolutely is because i only do it when stressed, it hurts but distracts me from the emotions I am going through, plus it also does leave me vulnerable to infections on my bad days.
As to your second question I think it is something that matters to you, and that the main thing.
(no need to answer this) if a friend or family member was in your place, what would you say to them?
I hope this helps. What ever you choose know you are not alone, we have your back!
Yes, it does help on some level, I guess. If someone else was in my place I would definitely don't want them to continue with it, I would rather want them to speak with me.
I actually did speak with a therapist before, during my cllg days maybe a year back. But I felt like she didn't care much. So yeah thats the reason I don't think it's anything bad.
And the thing is I am scared to speak about it with my friends because what if they also start it because of me speaking about it? Because I think that's how I started mine.
I get that. College therapist are really hit & miss. I can understand why it would be hard to mention it to friend. Please know that you have a place here. If it helps, after hanging around the chat rooms I have found a few friends here that have been helpful including a really great listener. They can’t give advice or anything like that, but it does help think through things to come up with good answers on your own.
sending much support your way.