Making mistakes
TW selfharm, of course in this thread.
I messed up a friendship. I've hurt someone really bad just because I can't control my own emotions. I should be able to control them. I should be better. Now everything in my head just screams I should cut. I hurt her, I should hurt me. Fair is fair right? I'm a *** addict even after all this time and this time I am so so close to ruining everything.
@SleepyPersonForever Perhaps you might consider forging a new relationship with your emotions. Befriend them, the joy and the sorrow, the pleasure full and the hurt feelings as well. And you can slowly, patiently reach out to your friend, tell them how much they mean to you, and hope they come back (at their pace, their time, their choosing without any pressure from you). When you learn to treat your emotions with respect and acceptance (because they are intimately part of your experience), then you don’t have something to run away from, or control. Recover your life and maybe your friendship too - the first is essential and the second is possible.