i hate myself

i hate myself, i wish i never existed. i know deep down, people hate me, so do i hate myself now. i wish i could js finish this off once and for all. but look how stupid i am. cant even do that. loser. forgot those friends werent actual friends. forgot dad wasnt actual dad. forgot brother wasnt actual brother. forgot mom wasnt actual mom. forgot everything. how stupid am i. its like im *** lost, wandering around, hitting my head on a *** wall. then moving towards a mirror to call this person a weird, dumb, loser idiot. i wish i never existed i hate myself. i dont wanna continue on how do i explain?