What is self love?
Hi people :) This is my first post. We all tend to be very judgemental of ourselves and always rely on others to define who we are. This is why self love is such a hard thing. When others affirm us, it can really make us get a boost of self confidence, but what if we can be able to give ourselves that self confidence. I'm actually on a journey to learn how to love and take care of myself more because I've always been worrying about what other people think of me and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want my worth to lie in how others perceive me. So, does anyone have some tips on how I can cultivate self love? What are some practical exercises I can do to help me? Because sometimes, I try to remind myself of some positive affirmations but they still somehow feel empty.
Sending love to anyone who is also trying to learn how to love themselves more <3
@Starlit263
It is a self journey and different for each person.
My journey was helped not just by self reflection but from talking with some friends who showed me what they saw in me ... it was not about needed or seeking their validation. Instead of accepting what they saw and then I saw my self differently.
instead of seeing all the things I may want to change... I saw the best things in me. I am grateful for that person who made me not only feel different but accept all of me, flaws and all.
Same with a friend who I have had talks with about philosophical and beliefs which strengthened my resolve in who i am.
Yeah if you are also on a self improvement journey at the same time (which I am) it's very easy to only see the things you want to change and forget about what you already are doing well in. I've learned not to fall into that trap, but I just need to learn how to actually appreciate myself for the things I'm doing well in.
Honestly, you are already doing a great job if you are able to recognize that you have things that you want to improve yourself on and are actually trying to work towards improving. That's the first thing we need to recognize <3
@Starlit263 A positive affirmation is not very helpful unless you actually believe it. The solution to disbelief is not to shut your eyes tighter and clench your jaw and believe harder. The solution is to find an affirmation that you do believe. Once you feel just as deserving as any other human you’re unlikely to need to remember to repeat the affirmation - just as you don’t have to affirm that gravity exists.
The analogy haha 😂 (I am not an Olympic athlete)
Thanks for sharing, it means a lot to me. Especially the point you said about you being the only person responsible for giving yourself love and care and happiness. Self love is not selfish at all. It's just that so many people have become used to people pleasing...
@Starlit263
Positive affirmations are really good. Even practicing gratitude everyday, being grateful for the things you have or for the people you meet in your life are all effective. Physical activity can also boost your mood. I even try to journal my thoughts. When I journal I tend to realize that there is a pattern present. Thinking negatively about ourselves can in fact be stressful. So I try to write to myself in a positive tone and write positive messages for myself. This way I maintain my self-esteem.
Self love doesn't mean you compare your self with others and then end up feeling worse about yourself but it means that you appreciate and thank yourself for all the great qualities you have, the personality you have, the family support or other social support you have or anything.
Hope it helps.😊
I agree. Something to keep in mind would be to not compare with others on things they have but you don't. You have other things that others also might not have. So in the end, how is it even fair to compare?
And I also journal sometimes. I've been able to see that I've always been writing in a negative tone and writing about my worries and stuff. I can include some positive things in my journaling as well. :))