Want to vent

I've lost my best friend. Maybe it is not a loss but I don't think I can save this relationship. I've told her countless times how her not talking to me impacts my health but she just can't understand it. She can't understand me. If I'm not talking to her, that means I don't have anything to talk to. That means I can't talk anymore. I hate small talks and all they do is small talk. They don't talk about meaningful things. I'm not that social and all they do is gossip about people I don't know. Even if I tend to show interest, my bff says "You don't know her/him/them". Of course I don't know but I want to know (sometimes). They can't understand it. I hate it. I've told her everything about my mental health and how I feel empty and depressed. But instead of checking me on, they just don't talk to me. I hate myself. I hate the way I am. Overly sensitive, introverted empath. I hate myself for being such a baby who needs someone else to make them feel better. 

I want to feel better on my own. I want to heal my inner child. I want to make her feel loved. But, I don't know where to start. I'm lost.