Struggling with Feeling Like a Loser After Years of Redefining Success
I have changed my views of success a lot of times. I still feel left out no matter what. I just don't want to feel like a loser, and redefining success now feels like giving up. I feel like my bullies were right. I feel like my ex was right. The men she cheated on me with were better than me. I lost. That's it. I give up on finding beauty, a home, and winning
@EchoOfDreams Focus on the journey to your goals. Obtaining your goals may or may not bring happiness after the fact. Success is in the effort. Success is in finding happiness in the journey to your goals.
@EchoOfDreams
I hear how deeply painful and discouraging this feels for you right now. It’s incredibly tough to grapple with these feelings of inadequacy and the sense that despite your efforts, you’re still not where you want to be. It’s understandable that shifting your views on success might feel like a form of giving up, especially when you’re struggling with feelings of being left out or not measuring up to others.
It’s important to recognize that these feelings of defeat and self-doubt are valid, but they don’t define your worth or the entirety of your potential. The experiences with bullies and your ex have clearly had a lasting impact on you, and it’s natural to question your value when faced with such difficult memories. However, it’s crucial to remember that these past experiences do not determine your entire future or who you are as a person.
Feeling like you’ve lost or that you’re not achieving your goals can be incredibly disheartening, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by these emotions. It’s important to be gentle with yourself and understand that redefining success doesn’t mean giving up; rather, it’s about finding a new way to measure fulfillment and happiness that aligns with your current reality and personal growth.
Finding beauty, creating a sense of home, and feeling like you’ve won are deeply personal and individual experiences. These might look different from what you originally envisioned, but that doesn’t mean they’re out of reach or less valuable. Sometimes, redefining success can be a way to align more closely with what truly matters to you, rather than adhering to external standards or past judgments.
Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can offer support as you navigate these complex feelings. They can help you explore these emotions in depth, work on rebuilding self-esteem, and develop strategies to find meaning and beauty in your life on your own terms.
You deserve kindness and compassion, both from others and from yourself. Your journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek help and take steps towards healing and self-discovery.
