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Self esteem update, again. unfortunately.

Nate715 November 4th

i'm currently having lunch and because my uncle is here, I have to let him eat first, which I don't mind at all. but the slightest things will make him not eat, such as me or my sister asking to get food before him, coughing *near* the food, or arguments when eating.

because all I asked was to get my food, he didn't want to eat, I don't know why he does this but it upset my mother and now shes asking him to come eat.

all I want is a normal lunch time. all I want is a day where I don't throw my food or drinks out of anger.

she proceeded to throw my drink in my face and didn't allow me to put the fork down on the table, I just wanted to eat.

I can barely get 2 damn meals in my body without her criticizing everything I say and do.

2 damn meals. not 3, 2. that's all I ask for. 

otherwise then, i'm back to stuffing my face with Halloween candy whenever i'm hungry.

thanks a lot mom. 

3
YourCaringConfidant November 4th

@Nate715 Hi Nate. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time right now with your family. Do you mind if I ask why your uncle has to eat first before you or your sister? I understand he may be a guest, so I'm just trying to get an understanding. Anyway, I do also understand that every family dynamic is different. Some family members eat dinner together around the table. Some eat on the couch in front of the TV. Some get their plate and head off to their room. Every household is different. However things are in your house, it seems you just accepted it. I'm sorry your mom threw a drink in your face. That was not a very kind thing to do, no matter how upset she may have been. I hope you are physically ok, Nate. Emotionally or mentally, maybe you may not be since you're posting here, but I hope situations change for the better for you. I hope you are safe. Is there anywhere you can go to feel safe and comfortable? It saddens me that you're only getting access to two meals a day because of whatever is going on in the home. Please take care and don't forget you can always chat with a listener if you ever need support. 

2 replies
Nate715 OP November 4th

@YourCaringConfidant

i guess my mom prioritizes him eating first is because, well, i don't really know. she also says on thanks giving adults sit and grab their food before children do, little confused on that because honestly never heard of that. my guess on why he has to get food first is because i think he thinks food is optional and he doesn't eat unless we're in a place like a restaurant where people mainly order food

he might have an eating disorder, i've seen this man not eat for over 15 hours, don't really know why.

i used to eat in the living room when i was younger, gotten used to eating in the kitchen, so her kicking me out just feels like i'm worthless, one meal eaten in the living room, sure, but people surrounding me, better. 

i've never seen her throw anything in my face before, which shocked me 

currently feeling a lot better because i got a hold of a listener, amazingcherry7378 was an amazing person to talk to.

mom hasn't been cooking much lately and she doesn't allow me to cook frozen food, so, instant noodles it is, thanks for worrying about me though :)

1 reply
YourCaringConfidant November 4th

@Nate715 Yea, that just goes back to every family dynamic being different. That's how it was growing up in my friend's family. Adults gathered at the big table. Kids ate at the little table. But how I grew up, us kids ate at at the dinner table among the adults. All families are different. If it's your mom's home then she makes the rules. Just like when you grow up, you'll be able to make the rules. Life, huh? I'm sorry to hear about your uncle possibly having an eating disorder. It seems your mom knew this and wanted to make sure her brother got food. Perhaps she's stressed, but still I make no excuses for what she did to you. Wrong is wrong and no person ever deserves a drink thrown in their face. I hope you can find forgiveness with your mom. I'm glad you are at least able to get something in your belly even if it's noodles. I grew up eating Ramen noodles but I used to spruce mine up with some egg, cheese, and Tabasco or hot sauce. Lol.

PS: I'm super happy you found such an amazing listener to be there for you! Yayyyy! 

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