I hate my own personality so much

so irresponsible, careless, impulsive

so hysterical and unable to control their emotions

I would rather [d]13 than be a certain way 

cries in executive dysfunction

cries in allegations from strangers on similar forums of having BPD (evidence = my post history)

cries at many MBTI memes, has to install blocking software just so I don't cry my balls off at getting certain results (enneagram is not as nasty to my ego, and is more based than MBTI)