Discovering the Real Source of My Struggles

As I continue to express and explore my feelings, I’m starting to realize that my struggles aren’t as superficial as they initially seemed. I used to think that my pain stemmed from never getting the chance to date someone like a supermodel or a well-known weather lady, but I’m discovering that there’s something much deeper going on.

Growing up, I was constantly uprooted from my communities due to my narcissistic father. We moved around so much that I never had the chance to truly belong or be accepted anywhere. This lack of stability meant that I couldn’t form lasting bonds or feel a sense of community, and I think that’s where my real issues lie.

I’ve been bullied and rejected by beautiful women, and for a long time, I believed that dating someone like them would be the solution to all my problems. But as I dig deeper, I realize it’s not really about being with a "bombshell" at all. What I truly crave is acceptance, belonging, and praise from a community—a sense of being valued for who I am, something I’ve never truly experienced.

By expressing these feelings, I’m getting closer to identifying the underlying problems in my psyche. It’s not about chasing after a certain type of woman, but about healing the wounds left by years of feeling like I don’t belong. I’m learning to focus on building genuine connections and finding a place where I can finally feel accepted.