Self-Esteem Community

Building Self-esteem Series: The Fear of Failure

by LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS

47 minutes ago

...See more Hi there, I hope you have enjoyed Hope’s Building Self-esteem Series as much as I have! Today, I wanted to open up a discussion about something we all face at some point in our lives: the fear of failure. It doesn’t matter who we are, what job we do, or how well we feel we have worked on our personal growth. It's a universal experience that can hold us back from reaching our full potential, both personally and professionally. However, I believe that by sharing our experiences and incorporating therapeutic techniques, we can overcome this fear and pave the way for personal growth. Understanding the Fear of Failure Firstly, let's acknowledge that the fear of failure is completely normal. It's a part of the human experience, and almost everyone has felt it at some point. Whether it's starting a new project, taking on a challenging task, or pursuing a dream, that little voice of doubt can creep in and make us question our abilities. We may even struggle with an internal critic that constantly holds us back with our negative internal dialogue and if you want some tips on how to quieten this voice please read here. [https://www.7cups.com/experts/article/how-to-silence-your-inner-critic] Developing a Growth Mindset: One powerful therapeutic technique to combat the fear of failure is cultivating a growth mindset. The growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Instead of seeing challenges as insurmountable obstacles, individuals with a growth mindset view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of avoiding challenges or not attending to them all together, the growth mindset teaches you to work through those challenges, to go with the river, [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/TheRiver_296728/] and to see what you can learn on your journey! Practical Steps for Developing a Growth Mindset: * Embrace Challenges: Rather than avoiding difficult tasks, actively seek out challenges. This can help reframe your perspective and view challenges as stepping stones to improvement. * Learn from Criticism: Constructive criticism is a valuable tool for growth. Instead of taking it personally which can sometimes happen, use it as feedback for improvement. Remember, even the most successful people faced setbacks and criticism on their journey. You are not alone and gradually it gets easy when you are able to invite constructive criticism. It takes practice and self-compassion to be able to learn from constructive criticism. * Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success: Shift the focus from end results to the effort you put in. Acknowledge your hard work and dedication, regardless of the outcome. This helps build resilience and perseverance and is one of the key ways to overcome the fear of failure. * View Setbacks as Learning Opportunities: When things don't go as planned, ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Failure is not the end but rather a chance to refine your approach and try again with newfound knowledge. Sharing Your Experiences: I'd love to hear from you all. Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset? Sharing our stories can be both cathartic and inspirational for others going through similar struggles. Remember, we're all in this together, and every setback is a chance to grow stronger. Let's create a supportive space to discuss, learn, and conquer the fear of failure as a community! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences that you feel comfortable sharing. Photo by Sammie Chaffin [https://unsplash.com/@sammiechaffin?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash] on Unsplash [https://unsplash.com/photos/person-jumping-on-big-rock-under-gray-and-white-sky-during-daytime-Zdf3zn5XXtU?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash]

Building self-esteem: Value clarification

by Hope

54 minutes ago

...See more Hey Everyone, I hope you are doing well. In the past week, we talked about working on our self-esteem using the FAST method. One of the most important points of the fast method is sticking to your values. But some of us may not know what values to stick to, not everyone has reflected on this. If you are a religious person, you will likely know what values matter to you and they are typically rooted in your beliefs. But if you don’t believe in some specific way of living, you may need to reflect on the values that matter to you and this post will help you do so. Welcome to the world of understanding core values! These are the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide our decisions, define our priorities, and ultimately fuel our self-esteem. Think of them as your internal compass, pointing you towards a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. So, what do core values look like? They're not always grand or flashy goals. They can be simple things like: * Honesty: Always wanting to be truthful and upfront, even when it's tough. * Kindness: Showing compassion and care towards others, big and small. * Creativity: Embracing your unique ways of thinking and expressing yourself. * Adventure: Seeking out new experiences and challenges to grow and learn. * Balance: Making time for what matters most – work, relationships, and personal well-being. * Remember, your core values are YOURS. They are what makes you, you! But how do you get in touch with these hidden gems? Here are a few tips: * Introspection Time: Take some quiet moments to reflect. Ask yourself: What truly brings me joy? What makes me feel proud? What stands out as important to me, even when things get tough? * Life Audit: Examine your choices and habits. Do they align with your gut feeling of what's right? Does your everyday life reflect your priorities? * Values in Action: Think about situations where you felt strongly, either positive or negative. What values were at play? This can reveal hidden priorities you may not have noticed. * Seek Inspiration: Read biographies, watch movies, or talk to people you admire. How do their values shape their lives? See if any resonate with you. To help you further explore the values that truly matter to you, we will do a short exercise. Reflect on the following values * Integrity: Doing the right thing, even when it's hard. * Empathy: Feeling what others feel and caring deeply. * Gratitude: Appreciating what you have and saying thank you. * Resilience: Bouncing back from challenges and never giving up. * Curiosity: Asking questions and wanting to learn more. * Humility: Knowing your limits and valuing others' contributions. * Sustainability: Caring for the planet and living responsibly. * Authenticity: Being true to yourself and living with purpose. * Collaboration: Working together and achieving shared goals. * Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions. * Passion: Chasing what ignites your soul. * Open-mindedness: Embracing different perspectives and ideas. Activity: Sort the above-mentioned 12 values into three piles, the values that are most important, those that are important and the ones that are least important. You can leave out the definitions when sorting, they are there just to help you understand what each value means Participation in the activity is required for those who are working towards the braving self badge and intend to complete the entire series. This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

Building Self-esteem Series: The FAST way

by Hope

60 minutes ago

...See more Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Last week we talked about what is self-esteem and what it impacts. We had quite a few responses where people shared how they can benefit from an increase in self-esteem, reflecting on how self-esteem plays a role in the success of people they look up to. You can participate in the post here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/selfesteem/BuildingSelfesteemseries_2655/BuildingSelfesteemSelfesteemandallthatitimpacts_321258/] This week we will explore one way we can start working on improving our self-esteem. It is the FAST method, rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. What is interesting about this approach is that it allows you to make decisions when faced with everyday choices to ultimately improve your self-esteem by being true to yourself. FAST Acronym * F is for Fair – Be fair to yourself as well as other people. It’s important to learn that your needs are just as important as someone else’s. This is also about being assertive and learning to speak your truth. * A is for Authentic – Don’t apologize for having an opinion or disagreeing with others. This does not mean you have to be rude to others but you can disagree respectfully. * S is for Stick to your values - Don’t compromise or abandon your values trying to please others or conform. * T is for Truthful - Be truthful and don’t make excuses. Be honest and don’t exaggerate or tell little white lies. Here are some more narrowed-down examples/applications: * F (Fairness): Someone in your group keeps making plans without considering your availability. Speak up! Suggest alternative times or activities that include everyone's preferences. Remember, your needs matter too. * A (Authentic): Don't be afraid to show your true feelings, whether it's sadness, anger, or joy. Bottling up emotions can be unhealthy. If a friend upsets you, you are allowed to express it. If they did something great, you are encouraged to recognize it. * S (Sticking to values): Spend time working with a cause you care about, like animal welfare or environmental protection. Contributing to something bigger than yourself aligns with your values and builds self-worth. * T (Truthfulness): If you disagree with someone's idea, be honest and provide constructive feedback. Offer alternative solutions while remaining respectful of their perspective. You can answer a minimum of two of the following questions or you can answer all! (The instructions apply to everyone who is working towards the braving self badge) * Have you ever encountered a situation where you prioritized someone else's needs over your own? How did it make you feel? What could you have done differently to practice fairness towards yourself? * Describe a situation where you were fully yourself, uninhibited, and genuine. What were the outcomes? How does authenticity impact your sense of self-worth? * Can you think of additional examples of everyday situations where applying FAST principles can strengthen your confidence and relationships? Attention: At the end of the series, there will be a short quiz/form to fill out to avail of the badge and show that you have understood the content of the series and have applied the techniques shared. Over the next few weeks, please note down specific situations where you have applied the FAST method. It can even be a few words! This series is more of a workshop than consuming content, for it to benefit you, you will need to apply the methods/techniques and partake in the exercises. Note: Due to the nature of some of these prompts, we encourage listeners to switch to a member account to participate in the series to benefit fully. If you prefer your listener account, you are welcome! But please maintain the boundaries expected of a person using a listener account and avoid detailed shares of your personal experiences. ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

Building Self-esteem: Self-esteem and all that it impacts!

by Hope

1 hour ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Time for the first post in our building self-esteem series [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/General_2530/NewSeriesBuildingSelfesteem_320908]. Today is a bit of an introductory post to the topic, the intent is for you to better understand why working on your self-esteem is so important and how it can hold you back from a better life. Think of self-esteem as your internal GPS. It helps you navigate life with confidence, knowing you're worthy and capable. It's how you see yourself - your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. When your self-esteem is high, you're like a superhero, ready to take on challenges and embrace new experiences. But when it's low, things get rocky. You might feel insecure, doubt yourself, and struggle to reach your full potential. How far can we go with a GPS that is not working well? What does this self-esteem impact? Pretty much everything * Relationships: With strong self-esteem, you attract healthy connections based on mutual respect and appreciation. You also communicate better, set boundaries, and avoid unhealthy attachments. * Mental health: Feeling good about yourself is your shield against negativity. You bounce back from setbacks easier, experience less stress and anxiety, and enjoy a more positive outlook on life. * Motivation and achievement: When you believe in yourself, you tackle goals with gusto. You're less afraid of failure, take risks, and keep striving for success. * Physical health: Self-esteem even influences your physical well-being. You're more likely to make healthy choices about food, exercise, and self-care when you value yourself. This is all well but how do you know you can benefit from building self-esteem? Some of us already have an idea of where we stand in terms of our self-esteem, others don’t and that is okay. We can look at the symptoms/signs of low self-esteem to check if we may benefit from working on this area of life. I can not put enough emphasis on the fact that we are not trying to label ourselves with low self-esteem as the label is of no use to us, we are here to work on ourselves! This list is here to help you decide if working on your self-esteem can improve the quality of your life. Beyond that, there is little benefit to knowing your level of self-esteem. Here are the signs of low self-esteem! * Negative self-talk: Tendency to engage in negative self-talk, putting themselves down and focusing on their flaws. They might say things like "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," or "I'm a failure." * Difficulty accepting compliments: have trouble accepting compliments, brushing them off, or deflecting them. They might believe the compliments are insincere or that they don't deserve them. This may not apply to you if you come from a culture where disregarding compliments is considered a part of humility/humbleness. * People-pleasing: go to great lengths to please others, even if it means sacrificing their own needs or wants. They might do this because they believe they need to be liked or approved of to be worthy. * Fear of failure: may be afraid to take risks or try new things because they're afraid of failing. They might avoid challenges or opportunities altogether, believing they're not capable of success. * Social isolation: may withdraw from social activities and relationships because they don't feel like they belong or that they're not good enough for others. * Poor self-care: may neglect their physical and emotional health. They might not eat healthy, exercise regularly, or get enough sleep. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm. If the list resonates with you. If half or more of it applies to you then this series may be of benefit to you. You can still participate even if you do not relate to any of the above points. It is perfectly okay and even encouraged to participate regardless of your self-esteem level. Discussion Questions: * Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? * Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. * If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? You may answer a minimum of two questions or all of the above questions! (The instructions apply to everyone who is working towards the Braving Self badge and intends to partake in the whole series. If that is not you, you can participate however you like!) ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

help me to have a better self-esteem

by DaniToon

October 26th

Building Self-Esteem Series: Self-Love letters

by Hope

October 24th

...See more Hi everyone! Thank you for following our series and working on your relationship with yourself. I know it is quite the challenge but it's a big effort and a big reward exchange! The world treats us differently when we learn our worth and insist on upholding our standards. These past 8 weeks we have been laying down the foundations on which we can stand and start to take more direct steps towards building our self-esteem. This specific exercise can feel challenging but if you have been following the series and have put in the foundational work then I believe you have what it takes to show yourself some wholehearted love and compassion. Even if this is the first post you come across, give it a shot! You may be surprised by this one. Today we will be writing self-love letters! It is a letter that you write to yourself, usually addressing yourself as you are a separate being. It will make sense in a bit! Try to create a relaxed environment. Smell something calming, and make a soothing beverage. Try to find a private place and keep the tissue paper ready for the upcoming tears. It is perfectly normal to find yourself crying. Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you love wholeheartedly. Think of yourself as this dearest friend who you know intimately and want the best for. Here are a few things you can talk about: * Note down how proud you are of all the work you have done. All the progress you have made. * Highlight all the ways you are growing as a person or how life has improved * Give reassurance for all the worries you hold. For example ‘I know you are worried that you will fail at X but remember when you thought the same about Y and that worked out Silly!’ * You can use any tone you like but it should be compassionate. * Apologize to yourself for all the wrong you have done * The letter can be pages long or a paragraph long. It can typed or written. Example of how it can look like: Dearest Me, You work so hard, even when you feel unseen. I'm sorry for the harsh words I've thrown your way, for neglecting your needs. Remember how worried you were about moving to a new city? We faced it together, and just like with starting that new hobby, you came out the other side, braver and wiser. I know you have doubts and anxieties, especially about finding a stable job. But listen to me – you've overcome so much already. You have the strength, the resilience, and the kindness to navigate this too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that laugh you have, the way it lights up your eyes? And your kindness, the one that extends even to strangers? Today, I want to celebrate those things. You are worthy of love, even from yourself. Maybe especially from yourself. Your loving self, (Your name) Activity Write a letter to yourself following the above instructions. Once done, read it and come back to this post. Answer the questions: * How did writing the letter make you feel? * How was the overall writing experience for you? You are not expected to share your letter with us. If you are participating with a listener account, please be mindful of listener account boundaries when answering these questions. You can keep the answers general. I encourage you to schedule the letter as a future email to yourself using email's scheduling service. It can be a nice gift for you from you! You are also encouraged to write one letter every day for 7 days. Somedays it will be a page, other days 3 lines and that’s okay. Whatever you write, you can keep scheduling for a future date. It can be a nice exchange of sending and receiving letters for yourself. ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

Building Self-Esteem Series: Learning from Others

by Hope

October 20th

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for participating in the Building Self-esteem series. This week we have an exciting post! We have two community users who you may have interacted with/seen who are sharing their own experiences with building their self-esteem. Thank you to @pandanfe and @Kristynsmama for contributing to this post and sharing their experiences. The following are their reflections: At what point did you start this journey and what steps did you take early on? Pandanfe: I’ve been an early meditation practitioner. So, self-esteem was always a part of my lifestyle. Maybe if it wasn’t for early meditation, I wouldn't have these things like self-love, self-esteem. Kristynsmama: I actually started this journey to better self esteem in high school. (Secondary school for some). The most important step that I took early on was seeking the support of a licensed and qualified therapist. She taught me a lot of skills that I could use at home such as positive affirmations and gratitude. What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them? Pandanfe: Sometimes challenges could be that some other people are trying to give their unnecessary opinions without base which could lead to self-doubt. And me being a non-social human makes it harder. But when I analyze the situation properly, I can make better decisions. Kristynsmama: My biggest challenge by far was my negative self talk. Every time I said something negative to myself I had to try to undo it. It seemed like I was trying to undo negative self talk on a daily basis! What are your tips for people who want to have better self-esteem? Pandanfe: * Knowing that you need no validation from others if you trust the process * Self-love is really important because if you’re treating yourself better, no one else is gonna treat you the wrong way * Keeping healthy boundaries is really important * And learning detachment from toxicity is must Kristynsmama: There is a book that was very helpful to me by Rhonda Britten. It’s called Change your Life in 30 Days. In that book, I learned that my self confidence is very much like a muscle. When you go to the gym and exercise regularly, you get stronger. Confidence and self esteem is the same way. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. And if you don’t use it, you lose it! How can I build self-esteem when I don’t like myself? Pandanfe: Then practicing self-love first is recommended. Kristynsmama: The opposite of hate is love. Practicing self love was the only solution to my self hatred. How do I develop self-respect for myself when I find it hard to respect myself? Pandanfe: In this case it’s better to acknowledge what is that thing about you, that’s not letting you keep yourself at a higher position. Once you acknowledge it, it’s better to work on the root cause of low esteem. Pro tips towards self esteem: Learn to cultivate self esteem through small steps like self-care, putting boundaries, starting to open up, mastering the technique of detachment etc. In case you wanna check how I developed more self-love you can do so by reading this post. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/gratitude/InsightsPositiveExperiences_2238/Amonthoftreatingmyselftosomethingnice_309214/]🔗 Kristynsmama: Viewing yourself with respect and love IS a choice. You can choose to view yourself with love and respect or you can choose not to. The one thing I learned though is that the more I choose the hatred path, the more I remain a victim of my own low self esteem. Pro tips towards self esteem: Learn to cultivate self esteem through small random acts of kindness. When you are thinking of ways you can be of service to someone else, you don’t spend as much time trash talking yourself. In case you wanna check how random acts of kindness have changed my life, check [https://www.7cups.com/forum/grief/General_2528/HonoringourlovedoneswithrandomactsofkindnessFebruary2024GLCommunityEvent_322833/] out this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/grief/General_2528/HonoringourlovedoneswithrandomactsofkindnessFebruary2024GLCommunityEvent_322833/] 🔗 When we look at both the reflections, we find some similarities in their journeys and some room for different approaches to building self-esteem. Both Pandan and Kristy started their journeys to better self-esteem early on, facing challenges like negativity and self-doubt. They overcame them through various methods, including seeking professional help, positive self-talk, and self-love practices. Pandanfe emphasizes: * Self-love and trust in the process * Healthy boundaries and detachment from negativity * Small steps like self-care and opening-up Kristynsmama highlights: * Self-respect as a choice and the power of positivity * Building self-esteem like a muscle through consistent effort * Random acts of kindness to shift focus and boost confidence Both agree that self-love is crucial and offer resources for further exploration. Remember, building self-esteem is a journey, start small, be kind to yourself, and celebrate progress! Tasks for this week * After reading both Pandanfe and Kristynsmama’s shares, Whose experience feels more relatable to you in your own journey? Are there any specific tips or techniques shared by either Pandan or Kristy that you'd like to try or incorporate into your own efforts? * (Optional) Do you have any specific questions for Pandan or Kristy? (You can ask them to elaborate on their techniques or something they mentioned that you are curious about). Please ask questions relevant to their building self-esteem journey. ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

Building Self-esteem: Uplifting Others

by Hope

October 20th

...See more Hey everyone! It is time for a new post in our Building Self-esteem series. Can you believe it is already week 6? Continuing our exploration of self-esteem, let's dive into a secret weapon often overlooked: uplifting others. Why the positive feedback loop? Think about it: when you make someone's day with a genuine compliment, a helping hand, or simply a listening ear, it creates a ripple effect. You witness the impact of your actions, reaffirming your own value and capabilities. It's like looking in a mirror reflecting kindness back at you. But how do I start "uplifting" in real life? The beauty lies in everyday moments: * Compliment a classmate on their unique style or insightful comment. A little validation goes a long way! It needs to be genuine though! * Volunteer your time for a cause you care about. Witnessing the positive change you contribute to strengthens your sense of purpose. * Offer genuine support to a friend facing a challenge. Being there for someone reinforces your inner strength and empathy. It helps you find purpose * Pay attention to small gestures. Holding the door open, offering a helping hand with groceries, or simply leaving a positive note – these micro-actions pack a punch. * Remember, it's all about aligning your actions with your core values. What truly matters to you? Helping animals? Advocating for social justice? Protecting the environment? Find opportunities to uplift others in ways that connect to your passions. This authenticity further amplifies the self-esteem boost. Building self-esteem on 7 Cups 7 Cups is also a great platform to help uplift others. Some ways you can do this on 7 Cups is: * Taking the time to listen to someone’s story in a group setting * Going to the needs reply queue and answering posts that resonate with you. * Providing active listening support to a member as a listener * Creating a forum post on a cause that matters to you and engaging with the people who comment. * Taking on a leadership role that aligns with your passion and values. Volunteering: The ultimate confidence superpower? Studies show that volunteering significantly increases self-esteem and life satisfaction. Immersing yourself in a cause bigger than yourself cultivates a sense of purpose, belonging, and mastery. Plus, the skills you gain and the connections you make can open doors to future opportunities. Bonus Tip! If you are unsure what activity/services suit you best, then the core values exercise we did in the past can be of help. Look through the values you deem as most important and try and find activities that help you practice that value. If you can’t, then move to the important values. Task of the week For the next 7 days (preferably more) every day when you wake up, start your day with the intention that you will intend to do at least one good today. Look for that opportunity throughout the day. It can look like: * Baking cookies for your family * Donating to a charity of choice * Giving a ride home to your friend/co-worker * Helping someone with their groceries. I am confident that most of us already do good on 7 Cups so that is why you are encouraged to find opportunities offline for this specific activity. Do your act of kindness/service for today and share with us how it made you feel. (You can choose to keep the act hidden or share it). Please note this is a required activity if you are working towards the braving self badge. You will be asked what activity you did for 7 days that was focused outwards. Attention! Next week our post will focus on learning from others' experiences. If you wish to share your own experience and tips on how to build self-esteem in terms of what worked for you, please reach out to me asap so you can be featured in the post. ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

Building Self-esteem series: The role of Accountability

by Hope

October 20th

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for following our building self-esteem series. This week’s topic is the role of accountability in building self-esteem. If you are wondering why accountability is relevant to this series, think of it like this: when you blame others or shrug off mistakes, you give away control. But when you step up and say "I own this," something magical happens. You transform from a passive observer to an active player in your own life, Ultimately, through enough practice, challenges become opportunities, mistakes become stepping stones, and goals become achievements you know you can reach. How does a lack of accountability impact self-esteem? * Blaming others or circumstances for your setbacks creates a feeling of powerlessness and hinders your ability to learn and grow. * Avoiding responsibility for your actions, both good and bad, can fuel negative self-talk and self-doubt. * Without accountability, goals often remain just wishful thinking. The absence of progress and tangible achievements weakens your belief in your ability to follow through and succeed * Lack of accountability can erode trust in your personal and professional relationships. * All of these things result in diminishing your self-esteem. What happens when you start to hold yourself and others accountable? * Accepting responsibility for your actions fosters a sense of control over your life. You become the driver, not the passenger, leading to increased confidence and self-belief. * When you own up to your mistakes, you create opportunities for growth and improvement. * Accountability helps you stay committed, track progress, and celebrate your achievements, reinforcing your belief in your capabilities. * It helps you stick to your core values and that helps build self-esteem * Setting clear expectations fosters a sense of fairness and reduces confusion. * Addressing issues directly and fairly with accountability helps resolve conflicts constructively. Let's see how this plays out in some real-life scenarios. * Sarah recognizes that excessive social media scrolling negatively impacts her mood and self-worth. She sets a daily limit and holds herself accountable by using apps or tracking tools. This conscious effort empowers her to take control of her time and attention, improving her mood and boosting her self-esteem. Mark mindlessly scrolls through social media for hours, comparing himself to others and feeling inadequate. He lacks the awareness or accountability to break the cycle, further impacting his self-perception and well-being. Both have the same issue but their approach differs and therefore the outcome. * Sarah, valuing honesty, admits a mistake at work, takes responsibility for its consequences, and proposes solutions. This builds trust and respect, strengthening her self-worth through integrity. Mark, fearing judgment, covers up a minor error. This creates anxiety and distrust, damaging his self-esteem and potentially leading to bigger issues. Remember this quote by Tony Robbins ‘By changing nothing, nothing changes’ How to get started on exercising accountability? * Begin with achievable tasks, like waking up on time or completing a small workout three times a week. * Use a journal, app, or even sticky notes to monitor your progress towards goals. Seeing your efforts visualized provides a sense of accomplishment and motivates you to stay on track. * Mistakes are inevitable. Instead of dwelling on them, analyze what went wrong and use it as a learning opportunity. * Share your progress with a supportive friend/family member or a mentor. You can even make a forum post on 7 Cups to keep yourself accountable and keep on adding to it. Remember that accountability closely relates to your core values. Using these two together can greatly improve your self-esteem. For example, if your core value is truthfulness, then you will make an effort to remain truthful and assist others when possible in doing the same. Activity (Required participation for those who are working towards the braving self badge) Reflect on one area of your life that you can improve upon in terms of accountability. This can be holding yourself accountable or others accountable for not treating you the way you wish to be treated. Examples of such areas: * Exercise/fitness goals * Mental health goals * Educational/work goals * Career growth goals * Core values strengthening Once you have identified an area where you can benefit from accountability, reflect on 3 steps you can take to keep yourself accountable the same. Make sure these steps are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Example: Alex wishes to become more physically active. He narrows this down to meeting 8000 steps daily. This is achievable for him as he does some walking but not consistently or enough. * He decides that he will go for a 30-minute walk first thing in the morning and sets his alarms for it. He then tells his wife to wake him up even if he wishes to sleep in. * He buys a smart watch/fitness tracker to keep track of his steps. * He also starts to part furthest away from his office in terms of parking and walks to his office. * He avoids the lift and takes the stairs. * In his afternoon lunch break, he goes for a 10 minute walk after lunch. He tells his co-workers about his fitness goals. ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]

Building Self-esteem Series: It is a Wrap!

by Hope

October 17th

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for joining me on this incredible journey towards building self-esteem. This kind of work on growth and development is challenging but incredibly rewarding. I am glad to walk this path with you. I believe we have covered the foundations of building self-esteem and some effective techniques were introduced that make a big difference. I do not want to overwhelm you with more and more information as that can end up in you not being able to apply what we have learned. So it's much better for you to master all that is covered and explore more techniques on your own at your own pace. The end of this series is not the end of your journey, this is just the start. Together we have laid the foundation and now it is time for you to design and execute the details. I am summarizing all the actionable items from the various posts of this series. * Identify Your Core Values: These are your maps, you can not reach the right destination if you don’t know where you should go and you can’t tell where you should go if you don’t know what you stand for in life. * Practice Making Decisions Aligned with Your Values: When faced with choices, use the FAST method, Fair: Be fair to yourself and others. Consider everyone's needs, Authentic: Act in accordance with who you are, with consideration but without apology. Stick to Your Values: Don't compromise your beliefs to please others. Truthful: Be honest and avoid making excuses. * Develop a growth mindset: Learn to accept failure and setbacks as inevitable and guaranteed part of life. Making a mistake is not the real mistake, its not learning from it that gets us. Same goes for failing. You must fail in order to succeed. It is the only way! * Reflect on Your Accomplishments: Take time to acknowledge your achievements, big or small. This helps you recognize your progress and builds confidence. * Set SMART Goals for Self-Esteem: Create specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals for improving your self-esteem. These will give you direction and a sense of accomplishment as you reach them. * Track Your Progress to remain accountable: Monitor your progress towards your self-esteem goals. This helps you stay accountable and celebrate your wins along the way. * Spend time supporting and helping others: Consistently do acts of service in alignment with your core values. Feed your neighbors, donate to a cause you care about etc * Write self-love letters: Write to yourself like you are someone you care about, someone you respect, someone you love, someone you are responsible for. Email those to yourself. Read these letters when the going gets tough. Ultimately through all these actions what you are doing is building respect for yourself, giving yourself reasons to respect yourself and in doing so, you are setting the standards for others to do the same. Once these foundations are strengthened, you can move to exercises that can keep you on track. Further Resources * 15 Best Self-Esteem Worksheets and Activities [https://positivepsychology.com/self-esteem-worksheets/#teens-self-esteem] * The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field – Nathaniel Branden Question for you What has been the most effective/helpful concept taught in this series? Attention everyone! To earn the badge associated with the series. You are expected to have partaken in all activities/prompt of each self esteem series post except the announcement post (New Series: Building Self-esteem) and submit the attached Google form. 🌻Please click here to double-check that you have participated in all the posts. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/] 🌻Submit this form. [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScyRppVvgcaJ7XlPcU1NrWWnlwfr11jGNHswAa-z-4pgNMz8g/viewform] The braving self badge is available until March 31. Anyone can avail of the badge as long as they complete all replies and submit the form above on or before March 31, 2024. I will be checking the posts till that date. After the day, it will exist as a resource. In April there will be a launch of a new series, you can make recommendations for it in the same form above. If you wish to lead a series like this, please reach out to me in PMs. A special thank you to @LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS for contributing a post in the series on the fear of failure along with supporting the participants and to @Pandanfe and @Kristynsmama for contributing to and supporting the Learning from others post of the series.

Discovering the Real Source of My Struggles

by EchoOfDreams

August 27th

Who is you?

by Heavenlyspace

May 12th

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