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10 Day Self-Esteem Exploration Event
by SoulfullyAButterfly
Last post
 February 23rd
...See more Hi everyone, We are excited to announce the "10 Day Self-Esteem Exploration Event", which is kicking off on Monday, the 19th of February, as part of the International Boost Self-Esteem Month.  For ten days, we will explore self-esteem as a community. There will be daily prompts focusing on the different aspects of self-esteem, encouraging you to share your personal stories, insights, and experiences while learning new techniques and tips from our community. The event is designed to help us all understand the importance of self-esteem, boost our confidence, appreciate our worth, and inspire each other in the process. Are you ready to explore, learn, participate and grow on this self-esteem journey? If so, save the dates and meet us in the Special Events group support room.  Event Details - open to both adult listeners and members: Adults Location: Special Events Room Time: Open 24/7 between 19 Feb - 28 Feb. You can check-in at any time! To show interest in this event and be informed of future events, please fill out this form. [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe31pGvZDW8_aa8Cb8ywz4lOCpy4lkS5kekzsFXILwv3QQSjw/viewform]
I'm f* alone for life
by exhaustedmind1
Last post
 51 minutes ago
...See more That's it. I am a 19 years old guy from Brazil and I don't want to keep trying to get in a relationship. Everytime that I F*ING SHOW INTEREST OR COMPLIMENT SOMEONE, THEY NEVER GIVE IT BACK. IT HURTS. Why can no one at least, AT LEAST compliment me? I've never received that. And I really think that I am at least a good person. I always try to do my best, and what do I get back from this? Anxiety, loneliness and a part of me telling me to give up. EVERY DAY. What did I do? Why is so hard to find someone? I've tried so many times already. While that, I see all types of criminals, drug addicts and more with girlfriends, wifes etc. I simply have no words for this, I just want to end this suffer. I wish I couldn't feel anything.
Sad Day
by XneedsHelp
Last post
 6 hours ago
...See more Today, my step-daughter passed away. Even though my ex left me, I was there for her. Please keep their family in yours thoughts and prayers. I thank everyone who is my 7cups friends or who just passed by my posts and read them. 
My Hurt (short essay)
by XneedsHelp
Last post
 13 hours ago
...See more Hearing my world pass by above my head, thinking I used to be apart of it all. Imagining what should have been. Speaking to my children but not seeing them, I wish things were different. The missing of my ex who left me, listening to her children play with my dog. The cross I bear no one can see, the weight of it all is crushing. My pain and hurt doesn’t exist to others unless I reveal myself behind my mask. I walk amongst the Earth in the light but yet not being visible to the ones I love. My cries hide my smiles, pool of tears reflects my sadness. The want for my world to return turns into me reaching for nothing that is there.  Thank you to those who’ve read this. I am just unloading how I feel at times…..or all the time. 
My appearance is cloying and boring.
by dissyus
Last post
 17 hours ago
...See more I feel like my appearance is cloying and boring, like something boring, unpleasant, it's like something too sweet, it too sour. I mean "too much". In addition to the crooked face, my features are boring, I can't do anything about it, and it especially hurts when I see myself from the rear camera, it gets even worse.
Ran my first mile today!
by rainyGaia2805
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more I'm very excited!
Pale Blue Dot
by XneedsHelp
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Over the last few months I have learned so much about life, people and my interaction with them, and myself. I am learning with practice, that my life is the only thing I can control. Hurt, pain, suffering, joy, happiness, and being content comes with living. Yes, I am in pain. Yes, I’m hurting. And yes, I am suffering….yet, I am still alive. I am still breathing. And I I have learned and still learning. I have to…no, I must find the joy within myself about what I have and be grateful. To up that joy to happiness; to be content with the moment at hand. I can’t control what happens tomorrow, just how I can “take” or react to what happens tomorrow. Some things are so small in the great meaning of life that most of us don’t understand, won’t understand. I know it seems that we can “control”, but what really IS “control”? Can barely control a video game because there is a chance of a glitch, just for example sake. Things we sometimes worry about are so insignificant that it shouldn’t be on our personal radars, respectfully. We worry about the small things so much, that when the “big” problems rear their ugly heads, we explode. The more we understand ourselves and that “control” really doesn’t exist, that it’s a perspective more so an action, the more we feel that we are the small thing. That we cannot spend our average of, GOD willing, 75 years on this Earth worried about the small things. Yes I am DEFINITELY HUMAN and feel the same way most of us do; stressed, hurt, pained, battling suffrage, crazed, “uncontrolled”; just to name a few emotional wars within ourselves, however, we must fight through the “evil” negativity that we perceive “controls” us. We must learn that on this planet, we are NOT alone and many of our “triggers” to our emotions are as small as we really are. I’m happy and grateful for all of you who read each others posts, and share JOY to get each other through. LIFE IS PRECIOUS! Life is delicate, but all our lives are small compared to where and who we are in this universe. I thank you if you’ve read this post, I hope it helps you at least a little, and stay strong!!!💪🏽😣😞😑🙂🤙🏽
Self-esteem update
by Nate715
Last post
 Monday
...See more If you haven't seen my last post, I was very drained and depressed. Currently, I am feeling good today! trying to cut down on Halloween candy though. (I swear i've eaten at least 35 pieces in 2 days! not feeling good about that.)
Building Self-Esteem Series: Self-Love letters
by Hope
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Hi everyone! Thank you for following our series and working on your relationship with yourself. I know it is quite the challenge but it's a big effort and a big reward exchange! The world treats us differently when we learn our worth and insist on upholding our standards.  These past 8 weeks we have been laying down the foundations on which we can stand and start to take more direct steps towards building our self-esteem. This specific exercise can feel challenging but if you have been following the series and have put in the foundational work then I believe you have what it takes to show yourself some wholehearted love and compassion. Even if this is the first post you come across, give it a shot! You may be surprised by this one.  Today we will be writing self-love letters!  It is a letter that you write to yourself, usually addressing yourself as you are a separate being. It will make sense in a bit!  Try to create a relaxed environment. Smell something calming, and make a soothing beverage. Try to find a private place and keep the tissue paper ready for the upcoming tears. It is perfectly normal to find yourself crying.  Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you love wholeheartedly. Think of yourself as this dearest friend who you know intimately and want the best for. Here are a few things you can talk about: * Note down how proud you are of all the work you have done. All the progress you have made.  * Highlight all the ways you are growing as a person or how life has improved * Give reassurance for all the worries you hold. For example ‘I know you are worried that you will fail at X but remember when you thought the same about Y and that worked out Silly!’ * You can use any tone you like but it should be compassionate. * Apologize to yourself for all the wrong you have done * The letter can be pages long or a paragraph long. It can typed or written.  Example of how it can look like: Dearest Me, You work so hard, even when you feel unseen. I'm sorry for the harsh words I've thrown your way, for neglecting your needs. Remember how worried you were about moving to a new city? We faced it together, and just like with starting that new hobby, you came out the other side, braver and wiser. I know you have doubts and anxieties, especially about finding a stable job. But listen to me – you've overcome so much already. You have the strength, the resilience, and the kindness to navigate this too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that laugh you have, the way it lights up your eyes? And your kindness, the one that extends even to strangers? Today, I want to celebrate those things. You are worthy of love, even from yourself. Maybe especially from yourself. Your loving self, (Your name) Activity Write a letter to yourself following the above instructions. Once done, read it and come back to this post. Answer the questions: * How did writing the letter make you feel?  * How was the overall writing experience for you? You are not expected to share your letter with us. If you are participating with a listener account, please be mindful of listener account boundaries when answering these questions. You can keep the answers general.  I encourage you to schedule the letter as a future email to yourself using email's scheduling service. It can be a nice gift for you from you! You are also encouraged to write one letter every day for 7 days. Somedays it will be a page, other days 3 lines and that’s okay. Whatever you write, you can keep scheduling for a future date. It can be a nice exchange of sending and receiving letters for yourself.  ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here.  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]
Building Self-Esteem Series: Learning from Others
by Hope
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for participating in the Building Self-esteem series. This week we have an exciting post! We have two community users who you may have interacted with/seen who are sharing their own experiences with building their self-esteem.  Thank you to @pandanfe and @Kristynsmama for contributing to this post and sharing their experiences.  The following are their reflections:  At what point did you start this journey and what steps did you take early on? Pandanfe: I’ve been an early meditation practitioner. So, self-esteem was always a part of my lifestyle. Maybe if it wasn’t for early meditation, I wouldn't have these things like self-love, self-esteem.  Kristynsmama: I actually started this journey to better self esteem in high school.  (Secondary school for some).  The most important step that I took early on was seeking the support of a licensed and qualified therapist.  She taught me a lot of skills that I could use at home such as positive affirmations and gratitude. What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them? Pandanfe:  Sometimes challenges could be that some other people are trying to give their unnecessary opinions without base which could lead to self-doubt. And me being a non-social human makes it harder. But when I analyze the situation properly, I can make better decisions.  Kristynsmama: My biggest challenge by far was my negative self talk.  Every time I said something negative to myself I had to try to undo it.  It seemed like I was trying to undo negative self talk on a daily basis! What are your tips for people who want to have better self-esteem? Pandanfe:  * Knowing that you need no validation from others if you trust the process  * Self-love is really important because if you’re treating yourself better, no one else is gonna treat you the wrong way  * Keeping healthy boundaries is really important  * And learning detachment from toxicity is must  Kristynsmama: There is a book that was very helpful to me by Rhonda Britten.  It’s called Change your Life in 30 Days.  In that book, I learned that my self confidence is very much like a muscle.  When you go to the gym and exercise regularly, you get stronger.  Confidence and self esteem is the same way.  The more you use it, the stronger it gets.  And if you don’t use it, you lose it! How can I build self-esteem when I don’t like myself? Pandanfe: Then practicing self-love first is recommended.  Kristynsmama: The opposite of hate is love.  Practicing self love was the only solution to my self hatred. How do I develop self-respect for myself when I find it hard to respect myself? Pandanfe: In this case it’s better to acknowledge what is that thing about you, that’s not letting you keep yourself at a higher position. Once you acknowledge it, it’s better to work on the root cause of low esteem.  Pro tips towards self esteem: Learn to cultivate self esteem through small steps like self-care, putting boundaries, starting to open up, mastering the technique of detachment etc. In case you wanna check how I developed more self-love you can do so by reading this post.  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/gratitude/InsightsPositiveExperiences_2238/Amonthoftreatingmyselftosomethingnice_309214/]🔗 Kristynsmama: Viewing yourself with respect and love IS a choice.  You can choose to view yourself with love and respect or you can choose not to.  The one thing I learned though is that the more I choose the hatred path, the more I remain a victim of my own low self esteem. Pro tips towards self esteem: Learn to cultivate self esteem through small random acts of kindness.  When you are thinking of ways you can be of service to someone else, you don’t spend as much time trash talking yourself. In case you wanna check how random acts of kindness have changed my life, check [https://www.7cups.com/forum/grief/General_2528/HonoringourlovedoneswithrandomactsofkindnessFebruary2024GLCommunityEvent_322833/] out this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/grief/General_2528/HonoringourlovedoneswithrandomactsofkindnessFebruary2024GLCommunityEvent_322833/] 🔗 When we look at both the reflections, we find some similarities in their journeys and some room for different approaches to building self-esteem. Both Pandan and Kristy started their journeys to better self-esteem early on, facing challenges like negativity and self-doubt. They overcame them through various methods, including seeking professional help, positive self-talk, and self-love practices. Pandanfe emphasizes: * Self-love and trust in the process * Healthy boundaries and detachment from negativity * Small steps like self-care and opening-up Kristynsmama highlights: * Self-respect as a choice and the power of positivity * Building self-esteem like a muscle through consistent effort * Random acts of kindness to shift focus and boost confidence Both agree that self-love is crucial and offer resources for further exploration. Remember, building self-esteem is a journey, start small, be kind to yourself, and celebrate progress! Tasks for this week  * After reading both Pandanfe and Kristynsmama’s shares, Whose experience feels more relatable to you in your own journey? Are there any specific tips or techniques shared by either Pandan or Kristy that you'd like to try or incorporate into your own efforts? * (Optional) Do you have any specific questions for Pandan or Kristy? (You can ask them to elaborate on their techniques or something they mentioned that you are curious about). Please ask questions relevant to their building self-esteem journey.  ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here.  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]
Building Self-esteem: Uplifting Others
by Hope
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Hey everyone! It is time for a new post in our Building Self-esteem series. Can you believe it is already week 6? Continuing our exploration of self-esteem, let's dive into a secret weapon often overlooked: uplifting others.  Why the positive feedback loop? Think about it: when you make someone's day with a genuine compliment, a helping hand, or simply a listening ear, it creates a ripple effect. You witness the impact of your actions, reaffirming your own value and capabilities. It's like looking in a mirror reflecting kindness back at you. But how do I start "uplifting" in real life? The beauty lies in everyday moments: * Compliment a classmate on their unique style or insightful comment. A little validation goes a long way! It needs to be genuine though! * Volunteer your time for a cause you care about. Witnessing the positive change you contribute to strengthens your sense of purpose. * Offer genuine support to a friend facing a challenge. Being there for someone reinforces your inner strength and empathy. It helps you find purpose * Pay attention to small gestures. Holding the door open, offering a helping hand with groceries, or simply leaving a positive note – these micro-actions pack a punch. * Remember, it's all about aligning your actions with your core values. What truly matters to you? Helping animals? Advocating for social justice? Protecting the environment? Find opportunities to uplift others in ways that connect to your passions. This authenticity further amplifies the self-esteem boost.  Building self-esteem on 7 Cups 7 Cups is also a great platform to help uplift others. Some ways you can do this on 7 Cups is: * Taking the time to listen to someone’s story in a group setting * Going to the needs reply queue and answering posts that resonate with you.  * Providing active listening support to a member as a listener * Creating a forum post on a cause that matters to you and engaging with the people who comment.  * Taking on a leadership role that aligns with your passion and values.  Volunteering: The ultimate confidence superpower? Studies show that volunteering significantly increases self-esteem and life satisfaction. Immersing yourself in a cause bigger than yourself cultivates a sense of purpose, belonging, and mastery. Plus, the skills you gain and the connections you make can open doors to future opportunities. Bonus Tip! If you are unsure what activity/services suit you best, then the core values exercise we did in the past can be of help. Look through the values you deem as most important and try and find activities that help you practice that value. If you can’t, then move to the important values.  Task of the week For the next 7 days (preferably more) every day when you wake up, start your day with the intention that you will intend to do at least one good today. Look for that opportunity throughout the day. It can look like: * Baking cookies for your family * Donating to a charity of choice * Giving a ride home to your friend/co-worker * Helping someone with their groceries.  I am confident that most of us already do good on 7 Cups so that is why you are encouraged to find opportunities offline for this specific activity.  Do your act of kindness/service for today and share with us how it made you feel. (You can choose to keep the act hidden or share it).  Please note this is a required activity if you are working towards the braving self badge. You will be asked what activity you did for 7 days that was focused outwards.  Attention! Next week our post will focus on learning from others' experiences. If you wish to share your own experience and tips on how to build self-esteem in terms of what worked for you, please reach out to me asap so you can be featured in the post.  ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here.  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]
Building Self-esteem series: The role of Accountability
by Hope
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for following our building self-esteem series. This week’s topic is the role of accountability in building self-esteem.  If you are wondering why accountability is relevant to this series,  think of it like this: when you blame others or shrug off mistakes, you give away control. But when you step up and say "I own this," something magical happens. You transform from a passive observer to an active player in your own life, Ultimately, through enough practice,  challenges become opportunities, mistakes become stepping stones, and goals become achievements you know you can reach. How does a lack of accountability impact self-esteem? * Blaming others or circumstances for your setbacks creates a feeling of powerlessness and hinders your ability to learn and grow.  * Avoiding responsibility for your actions, both good and bad, can fuel negative self-talk and self-doubt. * Without accountability, goals often remain just wishful thinking. The absence of progress and tangible achievements weakens your belief in your ability to follow through and succeed * Lack of accountability can erode trust in your personal and professional relationships.  * All of these things result in diminishing your self-esteem.  What happens when you start to hold yourself and others accountable? * Accepting responsibility for your actions fosters a sense of control over your life. You become the driver, not the passenger, leading to increased confidence and self-belief. * When you own up to your mistakes, you create opportunities for growth and improvement. * Accountability helps you stay committed, track progress, and celebrate your achievements, reinforcing your belief in your capabilities. * It helps you stick to your core values and that helps build self-esteem * Setting clear expectations fosters a sense of fairness and reduces confusion.  * Addressing issues directly and fairly with accountability helps resolve conflicts constructively. Let's see how this plays out in some real-life scenarios.  * Sarah recognizes that excessive social media scrolling negatively impacts her mood and self-worth. She sets a daily limit and holds herself accountable by using apps or tracking tools. This conscious effort empowers her to take control of her time and attention, improving her mood and boosting her self-esteem. Mark mindlessly scrolls through social media for hours, comparing himself to others and feeling inadequate. He lacks the awareness or accountability to break the cycle, further impacting his self-perception and well-being. Both have the same issue but their approach differs and therefore the outcome.  * Sarah, valuing honesty, admits a mistake at work, takes responsibility for its consequences, and proposes solutions. This builds trust and respect, strengthening her self-worth through integrity. Mark, fearing judgment, covers up a minor error. This creates anxiety and distrust, damaging his self-esteem and potentially leading to bigger issues. Remember this quote by Tony Robbins ‘By changing nothing, nothing changes’  How to get started on exercising accountability? * Begin with achievable tasks, like waking up on time or completing a small workout three times a week.  * Use a journal, app, or even sticky notes to monitor your progress towards goals. Seeing your efforts visualized provides a sense of accomplishment and motivates you to stay on track. * Mistakes are inevitable. Instead of dwelling on them, analyze what went wrong and use it as a learning opportunity.  * Share your progress with a supportive friend/family member or a mentor. You can even make a forum post on 7 Cups to keep yourself accountable and keep on adding to it.  Remember that accountability closely relates to your core values. Using these two together can greatly improve your self-esteem. For example, if your core value is truthfulness, then you will make an effort to remain truthful and assist others when possible in doing the same.  Activity (Required participation for those who are working towards the braving self badge) Reflect on one area of your life that you can improve upon in terms of accountability. This can be holding yourself accountable or others accountable for not treating you the way you wish to be treated.  Examples of such areas: * Exercise/fitness goals * Mental health goals * Educational/work goals * Career growth goals * Core values strengthening Once you have identified an area where you can benefit from accountability, reflect on 3 steps you can take to keep yourself accountable the same. Make sure these steps are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.  Example: Alex wishes to become more physically active. He narrows this down to meeting 8000 steps daily. This is achievable for him as he does some walking but not consistently or enough.  * He decides that he will go for a 30-minute walk first thing in the morning and sets his alarms for it. He then tells his wife to wake him up even if he wishes to sleep in.  * He buys a smart watch/fitness tracker to keep track of his steps. * He also starts to part furthest away from his office in terms of parking and walks to his office.  * He avoids the lift and takes the stairs.  * In his afternoon lunch break, he goes for a 10 minute walk after lunch. He tells his co-workers about his fitness goals.  ------------------------- This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here.  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/CommunitySpace_2590/BuildingSelfesteemSeriesOngoingActive_321259/]
Not Doing Well
by XneedsHelp
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Not doing too well tonight. I’m failing life. My ex don’t care if I died, I’m trying to find a new job. Literally filled out over 100 applications. My kids are mad at me, I’ll be homeless soon…I’ve failed. I’m really trying to push forward but idk what to do. This post could’ve ended up in a few different communities but here I am. 😣😞😔😒😢
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