An Insight To My Journey

Hey everyone, so I have a difficult post to share with you all. Through this post I hope to explain the changes in my situation and to raise awareness and to educate others if they find themselves in the initial stages of what happened to me so they can feel secure to get support quickly.

How did I discover 7 cups?

Well I was looking for support for myself at the time, it must have been around December 2016 January 2017 and I happened to come across 7 cups early in the morning and I believe I managed to get through as a guest. Accessing a service so open for support was a surprise to me and actually connecting with a real person rather than a professional was an incredible experience. After some time I decided you know actually this is pretty awesome I can get support myself and give support back so I signed up as a Listener in February 2017. For some months I hardly used the platform but then around September ish 2017 I decided to hop on and see how things were going. Someone happened to message me inviting me to look into being a verified listener and this sounded important so I gave it a go. I took part in the verifier chat one night and felt like it had not gone too well and I found some peer support from the person who became my mentor. As I explored the site more I discovered you could become these amazing roles such as a group moderator and thats what I signed up to be because I had seen there was some trouble in the rooms.

What happened?

It was about the time when I became a group moderator, which at the time felt an extremely important role, I discovered there were two sides to the site. I had become a group moderator because at that time the safety of the site was not as highly focused on as it is now and there were people being extremely inappropriate within the chatrooms so I wanted to help out. As things unravelled and I gained more roles it was harder to step backwards as I feared being in trouble for having these roles and not saying anything previously. Also, I thought to myself, well Ive seen almost everything happening on the adult side what is the point anyway.

How did I get ATL?

It made sense that if I couldnt say anything for fear of being banned or something similar to at least try to interact with those of my age group so I applied for ATL. The rest just came naturally as I am a person who in general interacts better with those older than myself than my age and I also look older than I am so nothing was really suspected.

Why did I not confide in anyone before?

Truthfully, I am human, I make mistakes and I was afraid of being in trouble. There was a point where I might have said something to someone close to me at the time but I couldnt bring myself to do so. Who knows maybe things would have turned out similar at an even earlier stage of my journey!

What changed?

Admittedly I had offsite contact with someone who had taken a break from the site and we were communicating via hangouts to keep in contact yet to remain anonymous. Let me reiterate this is a rule breach and I completely understand why now and therefore hope others will learn from my mistakes and see why there are rules in place. This was a person who I had become close friends with and they had confided in me many times previously so I felt it was time to return the trust. However they informed admin which made things turn a little stressful for me as it was around an inconvenient time. Reflecting on it yes this person carried out what was most appropriate however it initially hurt me. Which is why I also want to warn people that we can never truly know people - even those who we think we trust- so do beware what you share and with whom. This goes for everyone it is so important to remember listeners are not professionals we are volunteers but we still cannot know who someone truly is on the other side of a computer.

How did admin react?

I reached out to a leader who I was told had been informed with the information and mentioned to them that I had been informed they knew of something of a sensitive nature and that due to my emotions towards this person from a past situation I might prefer to discuss it with someone else. However, to my surprise they were calm and reassuring about it giving me the space to talk if I wanted to without their judgement and reassured me if I was going to share what they thought it was then I was not in any trouble. They put aside any judgement and past encounters and focused on this one situation which is reassuring to the point that admin will support people in moving forward in a positive manner.

We discussed things for a while and decided what would be the best way to continue forward on my path in correct alignment with the community guidelines. I explained that my username is something I wouldnt really like to change because my nickname was Bear before I came to 7 cups. So we explored other options until we came to a conclusive option which made the most sense and helped me feel most comfortable. Id make a post to raise awareness and during that time remain on the adults side to have the chance to tell the people closest to me and so not to cause any confusion by allowing the community an explanation.

My Advice to anyone stuck in a similar situation

* Email community@7cups.com with two social media handles and your correct date of birth and they will transfer you

* Speak to a member of admin they can help you get unstuck

* Try to speak out as early as possible even if you are a little stuck things can be solved quickly and easily

* As tempting as it is to let it slip its mainly about teen safety and that is the most important thing of the site

* If you are under 15 - and I wish I knew this when I signed up- there are many roles that you can get involved in as a member and support that way so even if you are not quite old enough to be a listener you are still able to support through a member account and even cooler you can get support for yourself as well

* Keep smiling thank you for what you do!

What now?

To enable me to realign with the community guidelines I will transition to the teens side of the site. Now that I have had the opportunity for a fresh start, I will also be stepping down from some roles as my time around the site will be minimalized because I have exams coming up this year. However the roles that I opt to continue forwards with will remain as they are but with the teen equivalent.

This experience will be a part of my journey and I appreciate the people I have met skills I have learnt and projects I have been involved in. Additionally, I highly respect those I have had the honour of supporting in any form and want to emphasise that I do take confidentiality highly and I apologize if you feel betrayed in any way and hope this post may have answered any questions.

Moving forwards I would be happy to attempt to answer anyones questions, would like to say a short farewell to the adult team for a while, Ill see you on the other side when I age up properly. Finally, I would appreciate everyones support in a positive transition and while I appreciate this post may have arisen some emotions for some people I would still personally appreciate being provided the same respect and maturity from everyone moving forwards on my journey. Any feedback questions or comments may be left in this thread and if anyone feels they need any support there are areas and procedures to seek that such as peer support.