Messages in group chats and PMs out of order

Hi when I talk either in the group chats on in PMs my messages come out of order or I'll trype something and the other person will receive the message but it disappears on my side has anyone ever experienced this and could help? Also it would be great if for teens on the teen side we would not get notifications for discussions happening on the adult side as we cannot participate and it would also be cool if on the calendar if we are a teen it would only show teen events by if anyone knows what is going on help would be appreciated! Thank you!!